Brothers Of Insanity
by CreativeBacon11
Summary: They didn't belong there. In that place. Leo knew where they belonged, they belonged at home, with their father in the sewers. THAT was where they belonged. But then why were his brothers acting so strange? Why did they insist on going "back"? Who were these humans? And why do they know their names? (Human Au, Mental Hospital Au, TW: Self harm, suicide mentions, mental illness.)
1. Chapter 1: Topsy Turvy

**(6133 words)**

"Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael, Michelangelo!?" A man's voice yells thorough the lair. The brothers tense up, backing away from the main entrance. "Boys!? Where are you!?" Raph and Leo take the foreground, fists up, just now noticing their weapons were nowhere in sight. "Guys, stay back. I'll take care of this." Leo says quietly.

He stalks forward and stars up the steps. "Leonardo, there you are." An exasperated man says, turning the corner. "Who are you." Leo commands. "Calm down Leonardo, I'm Mr. Higgs, your therapist." The man says, his hands up in a surrendering position. "What?" Leo asks with a stink face.

The man leans around Leo and lets out a sigh, a small smile appearing on his face. "Oh good, your brothers are here too." _Leo wished he had his swords with him, he'd normally be pointing them at the man at this point._ "What do you want with us?" Leo says. The man steps forward, pressing a button on a device attached to his belt.

"I just want to take you home." The man, Mr. Higgs says. Leo raises his fists while the Mikey and Donnie step back. Raph starts forward, intending to take this man out. "We _are_ home." Leo says calmly. "No, you're not. You're delusional Leonardo, you've been living at a long term mental health facility for four years now."

Leo frowns, his guard going down a bit. " _You_ don't know what you're talking about." Raph growls out. He pushes past Leo and hits the man in the shoulder, a slightly tanned five fingered hand going into view. "You need to get out and leave us alone before I hit you until your face turns blue." Raph threatens.

"Raphael, please calm your temper." The man says. Raph involuntarily backs up, his hands retracting into his chest like natural reaction. He shakes his head, a surprised look frozen on his face. "What? What the hell did you do?" Raph says loudly. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!?" He repeats. "We've been working on your temper for months, you _were_ getting very good at stopping yourself from becoming violent"

"Fuck you!" Raph yells, his hands still pulled into his chest. Some footsteps were echoing from the tunnels behind Mr. Higgs. " _Who did you call._ " Leo asks sternly. "Just some friends to help take you four home. You want to go home, _right_ Michelangelo?" Mr. Higgs looks around Leo once more. Mikey makes a whimpering sound and hides behind Donnie, holding tightly to his brother's shirt.

"You want to go home to your bed right?" Mikey glances at Leo, scared. "L-Leo says we are home." Mikey says nervously. "Are you going to believe _everything_ your brother tells you?" Mr. Higgs asks. He turns to Donnie and holds out his hand. "And Donatello, you want to see April again right? She's coming in tomorrow and if you come back with me I'll make sure you're allowed to see her."

Donnie frowns. "You know you sound like a kidnapper right now right? Besides, I can see April anytime I want without having to go to some creepy ass _'mental health facility.'_ " The man shakes his head, taking a step toward the younger two boys. "No, not unless you come back with us." He says almost sadly. Finally a small group of men round the corner into the large, echo filled room. "When you boys become lucid again you're going to be very scared down here." The man says as the other men start closing in on them.

Leo backs up along with Raph. "Scatter!" The eldest boy shouts, swinging his arm out to signal them to move. Donnie and Mikey sprint off to where they believed their rooms to be while Raph ran in the direction of the dojo. Leo turns to run but the first man grabs his arm and yanks him in close, using his arms to bind Leo's.

"Get off!" Leo shouts as he struggles against Mr. Higgs. "Calm down Leonardo, It's okay. I'm just here to help." Another man comes over and helps restrain Leo while the rest go off to chase down the other three.

In the hallway to the bedrooms Mikey and Donnie are already bounded by two men each, Mikey almost curling in on himself while Donnie struggles to get to his little brother. They are yanked to the entrance once again, being placed next to Leo in their struggles. "Let us go!" Donnie shouts, letting out his rarely seen anger. " _Don't touch my brothers!_ "

Leo twists and turns, trying to at least get to his brothers right next to him. Forty-five seconds of struggling later Leo looks down at the floor, feeling defeated, though shining ray of hope flashes through the lair in an unexpected way. Raphael was running through the common area, the remaining two men chasing him down. One was limping and holding his wrist limply while the other had a busted open lip and visible bruises running down his arm.

"Go Raph! Run!" Donnie shouts, still struggling against the two men holding him in place. "Don't stop Raphael!" Leo adds, giving a particularly sharp and painful elbow to his captors. Raph lets out a roar when one of the men tackle him to the ground. "GET THE FUCK OFF!" Raph yells. He shoves the man over, pinning him to the ground for a moment before the other man tackles him back to the ground. "RAPH!" Leo shouts. "Be careful with him!" Mr. Higgs says, having to restrain Leo a bit more.

Raphael's roars of rage could be heard for miles. He gets an arm free and elbows one of the men in the face. The man rears back and Raph frees himself slightly. He sees an opening and takes it, sinking his teeth into the second man's shoulder. The man lets out a yelp of pain and the second man takes out a syringe from his pocket, jabbing it into Raph's arm and injecting the liquid into his body.

Raph feels the drug take effect quickly, his body slowing and his attacks becoming sluggish. Donnie lets out a shriek when Raph finally stops moving. Leo starts struggling more, the last of their free brothers down for the count. Mikey sits on the floor, the two men restraining him having let him go. He sat with his legs in a _'W'_ and his arms lazily placed in front of him.

"Mikey! Get Raph!" Donnie shouts at the youngest of the brothers. Mikey shakes his head. "What?! _Mikey!_ Help us! _What is wrong with you!?_ " Donnie continues. Mikey dips his head down lower, feeling as if he was betraying his brothers. "I-It's not what's wrong with me, it's what's wrong with you." He says quietly.

Leo looks at Mikey, hurt clearly showing on his face. "I'm completely lucid right now." Mikey says sullenly. "They-They really _are_ just trying to help us." Leo shakes his head as the two men who took out Raph carries the red clothed boy over to the rest. "If they were trying to help, then how come they're restraining us and drugging Raph!?"

Mikey shakes his head, red curls bobbing with it. "Look at _me_. _I'm_ not being restrained because I'm not fighting. I can tell they're not going to hurt us. I'm _lucid_... You're _not._ "

* * *

Leo sits in a blank room with four different beds in it. The one he was placed at was made all nice and neat. The one Mikey had been placed at had the blanket half falling off and the pillow was at the foot of the bed, though he for some reason was let out to roam free. Donnie had been placed at a bed that was obviously messed up but then the covers messily pulled up to try and make it look cleaner.

Raph was lying in a bed they had made up for him. The covers were pristine until they pulled them back to allow Raph to slide in. He had been out cold for an hour and the man, Mr. Higgs said he'd wake up soon. He also said once he was awake he'd start having little talks with each of them privately. He didn't want Raph to awaken with his brothers gone.

Leo looks over to Donnie who was sitting on his bed, staring at his pale hands. "It seemed completely logical at the time, why is it so different now? How did I think any of that was real, or- or _okay?_ " He mumbles. Leo walks over to his little brother, worried. "Donnie, what's going on man?" Leo says, resting a hand on his shoulder.

Donnie jumps and turns to look at Leo. " _I ran away_. Do you know how long I've gone without running away!? It's been _two years_ , _three_ months, _eight_ days, and _fifteen_ hours. It's been that long since I tried to run away and now I ruined my streak. With that one _stupid_ idea! _So stupid_! We _never_ should have done that Leo!" Donnie stares up at Leo angrily and only gets a confused look in response.

" _Donnie_ , we're trapped away from home in some _unusual_ place, what else was I supposed to do? Besides, you should _want_ to escape!" Donnie shakes his head, flopping down on the bed and yanking the pillow across his face. "You don't get it Leo. you're not _Lucid_." Donnie grumbles.

Leo crosses his arms. "I've just about had it with this _'Lucid'_ business. I don't know what it means, but it's making you guys act _mind controlled._ If that's what being Lucid is, then I don't want it." Leo finishes with a huff. He stalks away and over to Raph, sitting on his bedside for a moment.

"Raph?" Leo asks. "Raph, can you hear me?" Raph lazily brushes his hand in the air, completely missing Leo. He grunts and curls back up under the blankets. "Good, you're awake." Leo says. "Listen, I don't know what's going on but something's up with Don and Mikey. They're acting really weird and talking about being _lucid?_ I don't know what they mean by that but we need-"

Raph bolts up in bed, his face tear-stricken and his body shaking. "GO AWAY LEO!" He shouts. "WE'RE _FUCKIN' CRAZY_ , THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT! JUST GO AWAY! YOU'RE NEVER LUCID ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND ANYWAYS!" Leo backs up and Donnie stares on in slight shock. "Raph, I-" Raph throws a pillow at Leo with enough force to make him take a step back.

"GO AWAY!" Raph pulls his knees up to his chest and buries his face in his blanket covered legs. Leo has never seen Raph like this. _Mad? Sure._ But this, this was different. He was nearly bawling and he was shaking so hard it looked like he'd vibrate right through his bed. Leo backs away and then turns quickly, flinging the door open and going out. Somehow he knew his way around this oddly calm building, turning lefts and rights like he could do it in is sleep.

Eventually he runs into a boy with light orange hair and freckles. He was holding a paper plate with a slice of pizza on it. "Oh, hey Leo." He says quietly. Leo narrows his eyes at The boy. "Mikey?" The boy laughs breathily, looking like he had just finished a long hard cry. "In the flesh." Leo frowns. "Why do you look so weird?" Mikey runs a hand through his hair, fingers getting caught in his curls.

"Oh, uh..." Mikey pauses, trying to think of the right words. "It's not really _me_ that looks weird, you kinda have some weird face blindness thing. Do you remember that? You can't really recognize a lot of people...?" Leo shakes his head. "No, I don't remember that..." Mikey smiles sheepishly.

"Well, uh I just had a talk with Mr. Higgs and he said to send Raph in if he was awake." Mikey picks up his pizza and takes a bite. "Well, he's awake but something's wrong with him, he's really... upset? He was yelling and crying and he was talking about me... Never being _lucid?_ " Mikey shakes his head. "It's not that you're not _never_ lucid, just... Most of the time." Mikey smiles.

"I bet Raph'll feel better if he talked to him anyways." Mikey says with a bit of pep in his voice. Leo crosses his arms and looks away. "Mikey, I don't trust this, you three are acting like this is totally normal when to me this feels so wrong." Mikey frowns. "I'm sorry Leo." He says. "I know it feels weird to trust things when you're not- When you don't understand them but could you _try?_ For _me?_ "

Leo pinches the bridge of his nose. "I-... I guess Mikey. I'll go get- actually, maybe you should get Raph. He was _really_ mad at me." Mikey nods, half his slice of pizza seeming to have disappeared. "I'll get 'em." Mikey says with a smile. Leo starts walking away but Mikey's voice stops him. "And Leo?" He turns around and looks at his little brother's freckled face. "Thank you."

* * *

When Raph got into the small office he was still crying, feeling unable to stop. It was like he was a fountain of emotions with no off button. "Raphael?" Mr. Higgs voice calls. "WHAT." Raph says very loudly. He had his head buried in his arms and his forehead placed down on his knees. "Could you look at me please?" Raph feels his face get wetter and wetter. "no..." He says in almost a whisper.

"Why not?" The man asks. Raph was silent for a long while before he speaks again. "I _bit_ someone..." He mumbles. " _Like a fuckin' dog._ " He adds, sinking his head lower into his arms. "You weren't in your right mind at the time. I'm not saying it was okay but I know you didn't mean to." Mr. Higgs says lightly.

"I did at the time!" Raph shouts, seemingly not in control of his volume. "I meant everything! I meant to hit them, I meant to bite, I meant to swear, I meant to run, I meant to threaten you!" Raph keeps his head down the entire time. "I meant it all but now I wanna take it back! I wanna take it back and never do anything ever again!"

Mr. Higgs sits with his hands folded, his face calm. "But you know what else you did?" Raph shakes his head. "You stopped yourself from going further with your temper whether you meant to or not. You cleared your mind enough that you became clear minded faster than you ever have before. And you know what I'm most proud of you for?"

Raph once again shakes his head, sniffling a little. "You're here now, talking it out instead of hitting something or someone." Raph barely lifts his head out of his arms, peaking over the top. "You may have done some bad things but you did some good things too, besides, who doesn't do bad things here and there. What's important is that you recognize them as bad and start trying to stop them."

Raph sinks his face back down. " _I bit like a dog..._ " Mr. Higgs sighs. "I know Raphael, I know... You've gone a long while since that's happened but it's okay. Do you know who else broke a streak today?" Raph shakes his head. "Your brother. Donatello. It's been over two years since he ran away last but he did it again today. But you know what? I'm not mad at him for that either. These were mistakes and all you need to do is learn from them." The room once again goes silent.

"The last place I was at treated me like a _dog_ when I bit." Raph says, pulling his legs in closer. "And they were wrong to do so." The therapist says. "No. I'm bad. I should be treated bad." Raph says into his arms. "Raphael sit up." Mr. Higgs says with slight panic in his voice. Raph pushes himself into the back of his chair. "Raphael sit up _now_." The man orders sternly. This situation had happened before. He knew what had happened.

Slowly Raph sits up, his face stained by his tears. The man focuses on his left shoulder where a jagged shape was carved into his skin. Raph lets a sharp nail fall to the table, probably having picked it up in the sewers. Blood stained his red shirt and he lets out a soft cry. " _I'm bad._ "

* * *

Raph comes back into the room the brothers shared with a nurse holding his hand, guiding him along. She leads him to his bed and lets him crawl back in, covering his entire body with the blankets. "Donatello, Dr. Higgs will see you now in office twelve." The nurse says. "Oh, and Raphael, if it starts hurting again don't hesitate to call someone." Raph barely nods. Red stained bandages had been visible under his shirt just before he disappeared under the sheets.

Donnie stands up from the bed. "What am I going to tell him?" Donnie mumbles, fidgeting with his hands. "Nothing I did today was logical. _Nothing_!" The nurse squints her eyes at the brown haired boy. "Would you like me to walk you to the office?" Donnie shakes his head and paces the room for a minute or so.

"It doesn't make any sense, why did I even-?" Donnie doesn't finish, catching a glimpse of the nurse. "Right, right, the office." Donnie says, leaving the room. "It doesn't make sense..." He walks down the halls, passing some younger people and a few older people, though they didn't seem to be patients. "No sense, no sense, no sense." Donnie says as he reaches the office.

He opens the door and immediately starts pacing the small room. "No sense, it doesn't make any sense." Mr. Higgs sits silently behind his desk for a while. "Donatello, would you sit please?" Donnie looks up suddenly. "Wha-? Uh, yeah..." Donnie sits down in the chair, not making eye contact. "I'm sorry, what I did today was horrible and irresponsible. As one of the most lucid of my brothers I should've been able to see through all of the haze an'- and-"

Donnie starts picking at the skin around his fingers. "I'm normally very logically minded but what I did today was completely illogical, illogical and stupid. I ran and I worked so hard to make sure I didn't do that ever again but now it did happen and I messed up and now you're going to be really mad at me and I didn't know what was going on and I- Oh gosh, I can't breathe." He takes deep, wheezing breaths, holding a bleeding hand to his chest. He had picked the skin around his fingers raw within minutes.

"Calm down Donatello. I'm not mad. Now, I'll tell you what I told your brother, _it's okay to make mistakes, you just have to learn from them._ " Donnie nods, still taking deep breaths. "Think of something good you did to counter the bad." Mr. Higgs says. "Like, on the way back you came along willingly when your brothers didn't. That was good. And how about when you helped Michelangelo up the steps when he was feeling weak?"

Donnie shrugs, looking down at his hands which felt like they were burning at this point. "Oh... Sorry, I'm sorry." Donnie apologizes. "I think I have a couple band-aids in here." Mr. Higgs says, opening his drawer. He takes a couple bandages out and hands them across the desk to Donnie.

"I'm sorry." Donnie says again. "It's fine." Mr. Higgs says, watching as Donnie unwraps the band-aids and places them on the bleeding parts of his hands. "I will say that what you did today was a small step back but nothing you haven't done before. Now, what would you say would be the best thing for us to do for you when you aren't lucid?" He asks, knowing Donnie was the logical type.

"I-I-I-I Don't know." Donnie says, stuttering repeatedly. "I-I-I-I... I'm- the-..." Donnie sighs. "I don't know, nothing about it makes any sense. I forget about everything. I forget about all the work we've done, I forget about you and this whole place! It's like- like- like-"

"Like you've blocked it out." Mr. Higgs fills in for Donnie. " _Yes!_ " Donnie throws his arms up in the air. "I want it to make sense, I _need_ it to make sense! If it makes sense then I can fix this! I don't want to be like this! I Wish I just couldn't remember the times I wasn't lucid like _Leo!_ He doesn't have to care about this stuff!"

" _Donatello_." Mr. Higgs says sternly. "Don't compare yourself to your brothers. You may not repeat this to _anyone_ but you are _miles_ ahead of your brothers. You've worked _so hard_ to get to this point and to take one misstep isn't the end of the world. If you remember back to the first time you were out of it and then back to _this one_ , you've come _so far!_ " Donnie shakes his head. "Just think, maybe in a few more months you could move to-" Donnie frowns. "No." He grumbles.

Donnie felt so tired and so sick of everything that day. He wanted to rage like Raph would, freak out and flip tables and kick and punch but he couldn't. He was the logical one, he was the smart one, he was the calm one... But not today. Donnie does what would've done the least amount of damage and stands up from his chair and goes over to the door, yanking it open and stomping out. "Donatello. Donatello, come back here!" Mr. Higgs calls. Donnie ignores him, walking down the halls with anger pumping through his veins.

He passes a patent who places a hand on his shoulder, seeing the anger behind his expression. "Hey brother, are you-" Donnie shoves the boy off of him, not saying a word for fear of screaming. The boy looks at him almost fearfully from the floor. Donnie didn't even know he had pushed him that hard.

Donnie spins around and starts speed walking towards his and his brothers' room. " _Remember the first time._ " Donnie scoffs under his breath. "Like I'd want to remember that. It was the worst day of my life..." Donnie starts slowly scratching at his arm absentmindedly. Donnie grimaces as he unintentionally starts remembering that day, unable to stop it.

* * *

 _A younger Donatello walks through the halls of his school, hugging books to his chest nervously. Thirteen years old but starting his second year of high-school. The year had started almost three months ago but Donnie had already wanted to switch schools. His brother had been admitted to a mental health facility almost a year ago and everyone knew Donnie as the crazy boy's brother._

 _He had felt anxious all day but it felt different than usual half way through the day and he could only remember a couple hours of what had happened. Donnie didn't understand what was going on but he did not like it._

 _Donnie trips, dropping all his books and hitting his head on the tile floor. "Ah-!" He shouts, catching the attention of some students. He sits up and looks around. Suddenly everything starts morphing into a kaleidoscope of colors, his head spinning and his balance seeming to have completely left him._

 _"Ah- Ah- Ah-..." Donnie mutters, flipping over and sitting on his butt. "Oooooh gosh, oh no, oh man.." Donnie says, watching as two purple shapes step up to him. They make some unintelligible sounds and Donnie pulls his knees up to his chest. "What- What- What is going on?" His head throbs and he tightly grips it tightly._

 _He sits like this, randomly groaning and moaning at the odd pain in his head. He can barely think but he can tell at one point the word concussion comes to mind. "Donatello?" It was the first actual word he had heard since his fall. He looks up and sees a brown glob standing over him. It morphs around until it forms into a giant rat. Donnie lets out a shriek and scoots back slightly._

 _"Donatello, it's alright, it's me. Your father." Donnie shakes his head. "No, No you're not!" Donnie says, leaning back. The Giant rat moves forward and tries to reach out to him. "Don't touch me!" he yells, slapping the rat across the face. Donnie was breathing harshly, sweat dripping down his face._

 _The rat brings a hand up to it's face. "Donatello, do you not recognize me?" Donnie shakes his head rapidly. "You're a giant freakin' RAT!" Donnie yells, backing up again. "My son, please-" Donnie pushes the rat away again. "Don't touch me!" Donnie holds his head again. "This doesn't make sense, it doesn't make sense, no sense, no sense!" Donnie says, his eyes wide with fear._

 _"He's goin' fucking crazy like his brother!" Donnie hears someone yell. "Crazy must run in the family!" He furrows his eyebrows and blinks a few times and his vision starts to clear. He could see the rat start turning more and more humanoid until he could recognize it's face as his father's. There was a bright red hand-print still on his cheek._

 _There were people staring at him, some laughing, some murmuring. Once his vision had completely cleared he was mortified at the scene. He was curled up in a ball, fearful sweats falling over his body while the whole school watched him break down. Now not only was he the psycho's brother, he was now the crazy boy who saw giant rats._

 _"F-Father?" Donnie asks, his voice cracking. He hears a couple boys break out in laughter he looks up and sees an older girl with red hear and blue eyes looking at him with sadness and fear. "Get me out. Get me out of here. Father, get me out!" Donnie says, figuring that if he was already thought of as crazy what could this do to damage his image._

 _His father picks him up in his arms, giving a slight nod to Donnie's teachers before he walks out of the school holding his panicking son. "J-Just like Leo, I'm gonna be just like Leo. Otōsan I don't wanna be like Leo!" Donnie's father rubs his son's hair, shushing him. "No, No my son you are fine. You'll be okay."_

 _Donnie feels tears scroll down his cheeks which shoots a pang through his chest. "I'm going to be just like Leo!" He cries. Donnie's father rubs his back as the walk through the parking lot. "I'm sorry my son."_

* * *

Donnie finds himself sitting outside his room, his head buried in his arms. He didn't want to be like Leo. But he just didn't want to be like himself. He stands up and wipes at his eyes, feeling the slight sting of tears welling there. With a sniffle he goes into the room, seeing Raph lying on his side in his bed, shoulders now just barley uncovered and Leo sitting in a chair next to him.

"Donnie, something happened to Raph." Leo say seriously. "Look at his shoulder!" Donnie nods and walks up to his older brother, embracing him tightly. "Donnie?" Donnie closes his eyes. "I'm sorry Leo." He says quietly. "Sorry for what? Ah, never-mind, Raph is-" Donnie nods. "I know. He probably did that himself." He says, letting go of his delusional bother.

"What!?" Leo asks, surprised. Donnie nods and walks around to the other side of the bed. "Yeah, probably. It would make the most sense." Leo stands up. "Why would _that_ make the most sense?!" Donnie doesn't look at Leo, staring instead at his younger brother lying on the bed. "Raph's been hurting himself for over a year."

Leo crosses his arms. " _No_. No way. Raph's smarter than that!" Donnie pulls the blanket up higher over Raph, making sure to cover the bandages around his left shoulder. "It has nothing to do with smarts. He hurts himself, that's that. It's an emotional thing." Donnie explains. _'_ Emotional. Right _. Raph wasn't_ emotional, _he was a hothead!'_ Leo thinks.

"Oh, and I think you're up for a talk with Mr. Higgs." Donnie adds, not looking up from his hands. "O-Okay?" Leo says, making Donnie look up. It physically hurt him to see Leo's glazed over eyes. To see the look of his unwell brother try, try so hard to trust all that didn't make sense to him. "It's your turn. Go." Is all Donnie says before Leo turns away, walking straight out of the room.

It was a quiet walk to the office but once Leo got there he could feel his insides churning. His hand wavers over the door handle, not wanting to enter. These men had kidnapped him and his brothers, making them think they lived here and that _he_ was the crazy one. That simply could _not_ be true. He was completely sane.

He makes his decision, backing away from the door silently and starts walking away. "Leonardo!" A man calls from the office. " _Damn it._ " Leo hisses under his breath. He slowly walks back to the door and pulls it open, peaking in carefully. "Come on in." Mr. Higgs says, waving him in. Leo cringes slightly and walks inside the room, the disbelief showing on his face like a red marker.

"Please, sit." Mr. Higgs says, gesturing to the chair all three of his brothers had sat in at this point. Leo lowers himself into the chair and looks at the man skeptically. "So, how are you feeling?" The man asks. "What does that matter?" Leo replies, tense and ready to bolt at any second. "I like to know how my patents are doing." The man states.

"I'm not your patent. You kidnapped us." Leo says with malice in his voice. "If only that were the case." Mr. Higgs says with a small sigh, a sad smile on his face. "Like I said before Leonardo, I've been your therapist for four years. If you want more proof then I can tell you more." Leo frowns but gives a slight nod.

"You have three brothers, Michelangelo, Donatello, and Raphael. Your father is Hamato Yoshi. He sent you here four years ago when you started showing signs of psychosis. You came here when you were thirteen which means you're seventeen right now. After a year your brother, Donatello, joined you. He was more clear minded than you most days but ran away almost constantly, he was too smart for his own good."

Mr. Higgs takes a sip from a water bottle. "Your brother Raphael joined us just this year but he has gone through multiple institutions to help him. He started showing symptoms two years ago but his temper made us hesitant to take him here. You actually were the one to convinced us. It was the most lucid I'd seen you in months and you said that your brother needed to be _here._ To get the help _you_ were getting."

Leo looks at him surprised. "Why would I-" Leo starts. "Your brother needed help. You helped him. We've seen more progress out of him than nearly any patent here. He wouldn't talk at all when he first came, if you can remember that. And it's only been about nine months or so." Mr. Higgs says, writing something down. "Unfortunately he's been at a standstill for two of those months."

"And then Michelangelo. Poor thing. He came here about the same time as Raphael and he wouldn't stop saying he failed your father. He was the last of his sons to go. Do you remember what you said when he first came here?" Leo shakes his head, looking much more apprehensive. "You said to him that Your father still loves him and that you'd never lie to him. And you know what?"

Leo shakes his head again. "He still believes you. Anything you say he believes." Mr. Higgs finishes out. "Agh! But you could've just made that all up!" Leo says, a sudden flash of anger shooting through him. "No, Go ask your brothers." Leo shakes his head again. "But they're brainwashed! They'll say whatever you want them to say, do whatever you want them to do! You made Raph hurt himself!"

Mr. Higgs shakes his head, pressing a button on his desk. _Leo didn't like buttons._ "Believe me, I didn't want him doing that again either." Leo stands up abruptly, scooting his chair back. "I don't believe you! I don't believe any of this!" Mr. Higgs calmly folds his hands. "Leonardo, could you please sit back down for me?

"No!" Leo yells, backing up towards the door. Leo frowns. he was obviously planning on leaving and this man just sits there like he doesn't care? He reaches for the door and tries to pull it open but it doesn't budge. The man hadn't gotten up to lock it which meant he locked it with that button. _That damn button._ "Let me out." Leo commands.

the man shakes his head. "I can't do that Leonardo, you might do something you'll regret later." Leo stares at the man, his hands itching for his blades. " _Let. Me. Out._ " Leo says, even louder. He clenches his fists and keeps his head hung slightly. "Leonardo, I can't I-"

"LET ME OUT!" Leo nearly screams, slamming a fist on the door. "I wanna leave! I wanna go _now!_ " Leo starts pulling on the door, jiggling it back and forth roughly. He feels tears in his eyes but he can't hold them back. He was completely melting down. He slides to the floor, crying much too hard for being in his enemy's office. "I don't want this." He whispers. "I don't wanna... I wanna go home. I wanna go home with father..."

Mr. Higgs stands up and walks over to Leo, bending down next to him and pulling him into his arms. "It's okay, shhh... You're okay." He comforts, Leo going limper. Leo looks up at the man, almost confused. He opens and closes his mouth a couple times before the words actually escape him. "M-Mr. Higgs? _What's going on?_ "

* * *

 **Wow! Okay, so I never thought I was ever going to post this story. I had written just about four chapters for it and then stopped, leaving it sit for about a year. I came back to it recently and started fixing up the chapters and adding on too! I'm really exited to see if people end up liking this because this was the kind of story I LOVED to read when I first started writing. Anyways, below is the "Author's note" I wrote when I made this chapter originally way back when! The next chapter will be up soon seeing as I have five of these babies written!** _ **(I honestly don't remember how my mom gave me the idea for this story but now me and my mom aren't too close so... Don't go thanking her too much.)**_

 _ **"Okay! So I hope you liked that first chapter! My mom of all people gave me the idea for this story but I have about a million other stories I'd get to first before coming back to this one. Anywho, If you liked this, tell me! And I'd love to hear your thoughts on it!"**_


	2. Chapter 2: Anger Issues Suck

**(5653 Words)**

" _I'm burning_." It was quiet but the brunette across the room could hear it clearly. "Raph?" Donnie asks, looking up from a journal he had been writing in. "Raph, what's wrong?" Donnie asks, worry leaking into his voice as he speaks. "I'm burning." Raph says louder, still laying on his side in his bed. He had been changed into a white T-shirt to get rid of the sewer and blood smell.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa whoa, whoa, Don't do anything just yet." Donnie says, quickly closing journal and standing up. "Burning how? Burning like you're really hot, or burning like _burning_?" Raph flings off his blankets, springing lively out of bed "I'M _BURNING!_ " he shoves Donnie out of his way and sprints out the door, Donnie staring at him in shock from the floor.

Donnie stands up and goes running after Raph. "Raph, come back! You're fine!" Donnie shouts as he starts catching up to Raph. "It burns so bad!" Raph yells, cutting a corner too close and running straight into a wall. He falls to the floor, starting to curl in on himself. "Raph, Raphael, settle down, you're fine. I promise you're okay." Donnie says, crouching down by his brother.

Raph shakes, dragging his nails against his skin. " _It hurts!_ " Donnie pulls his hands away so that he couldn't scratch himself. " _Raphie_ , please-" Raph reaches up, quickly slapping Donnie in the face. Donnie sits, horrified at Raph's actions. "Get off!" He shouts, scrambling up. This time Donnie doesn't chase after Raph right away.

" _He hit me..._ " He mumbles, watching Raph sprint away. He shakes his head and stands up, taking a deep breath and running after his brother who was halfway down the hall and shoving random people out of the way. "Raph!" Donnie shouts again in vain. "Oh God, please don't hurt anyone Raph..." He whispers.

* * *

"Mr. Higgs, Where am I? What's going on?" Leo sits on the floor of his therapist's office, staring up at the man he'd known for so long like a lost child. "Leonardo you're in my office, you remember that right?" Leo starts standing up. "Y-Yeah, I remember your office. Wh-Where's Donnie? He... He said we'd play cards as soon as- as soon as..." Leo looks at Mr. Higgs. "How long ago _was_ that?"

Mr. Higgs frowns. "Since the last time you were lucid? About a week and a half." Leo face-palms. "It's so choppy. Was- Was I-?" Leo sniffs his shirt. "Aw- Was I in a sewer?" Mr. Higgs laughs a bit. "Uh, yes." Leo tugs at his shirt. "Awe man! Did I do anything? Like other than somehow ending up in a sewer?"

Mr. Higgs nods. "Yeah... Uh You... Last week you got a little violent. You and your brother had a fight and you knocked him out cold for three days." Leo covers his mouth. "Who? Which one?" Mr. Higgs scrunches up his face. "Raphael." Leo smiles. "Well, I guess it's okay then." He says sarcastically. "Is he okay now?"

"Oh yeah, he's okay now. Well, sort of. He and your other two brothers followed you. He ended up hurting himself as well." Leo groans. "Not again! Raph's smarter than this!" Mr. Higgs shrugs. "It's not good but like we've told you multiple times it's an emotional thing, not a smarts thing." Leo rubs his head, blond hair getting pushed out of place.

"One of these days I'm going to become- I'll wake up and I'll find out that Raph's dead." Leo says, laughing breathily. "Don't say that." Mr. Higgs says, rubbing Leo's arm. "We're helping him as much as we can, just like we're helping you. Now, how about you come sit and we can talk."

Leo nods and starts towards the desk. "Gosh, I feel so... So clear right now... Like-" Leo stops when he hears a scream from the hall and turns back to the door. "Hey, that sounded like-" Another scream flows under the door. "It hurts!" Leo springs at the door. "It's Raph!" He tugs on the handle and looks back at Mr. Higgs.

"Please open the door! I need to get out to Raph." Mr. Higgs motions for Leo to sit down. "Someone else can and will take care of him, right now come sit and we can talk over what all happened." Leo shakes his head. "You don't understand, I _need_ to get out to him. He's hurting and I'm his older brother, I _need_ to help him. I'm never able to help him because I'm never okay- I'm never there for him, but I am _now_ and I can help him _now!_ "

Mr. Higgs frowns, rubbing his chin. "As long as you're back in..." He looks at the clock. "Exactly eight minutes you may go help." Mr. Higgs unlocks the door with his secret button and Leo flies out the door and runs down the halls, trying to locate his distressed brother. " _Raph!? Raph?!_ " Leo calls, running straight into his brother.

"Leo!? Leo, I'm burning! It hurts so bad, Leo make it stop!" Raph says from the floor. Leo crawls over to Raph and grabs his hand. " _Hey- Hey buddy, Raph_. it's okay, you're okay. You're _not_ burning." He says softly. Raph looks up at Leo with pure panic in his eyes. "I-I am. I am!" Leo grabs Raph's other hand as an out of breath Donnie runs down the hall from the other end. " _Oh gosh Leo!_ " Donnie huffs. "Thank God you caught him."

Donnie collapses to the floor next to Leo. "I've been chasing him for five minutes at high speed- I'm so out of shape." Raph struggles on the floor, trying to catch his breath. "RAPH!" Leo shouts. "Listen. You are fine. Listen!" He shouts again when Raph starts squirming again. "You're. Not. Burning." Raph nods, still squirming. "It still hurts." He says more calmly.

Leo frowns and looks at a clock a bit down the hall. "I don't have time.." Donnie looks Raph over, lifting up his shirt slightly. "Hey Leo, I think Raph might have _actually_ be burning. Just not in the same way as we thought." Leo looks as Donnie lifts Raph's shirt again, revealing reddened skin. Bumped up in most spots. "A rash..." Leo mumbles.

Donnie ignores Raph's grunts of protest as he folds the clean, white t-shirt up. "It must've been from being in the sewers." Donnie trails a hand around the rash taking up most of Raph's chest. Leo cringes at how red the rash was. "Donnie, I can't stay out here for very long, can you make sure you keep an eye on Raph? Call someone to help or something?"

Donnie nods. "Yeah, I-I'll make sure he doesn't move from this spot... Wait... Wait! Are you- ?" Leo nods with a small smile. "Oh my gosh, Leo!" Donnie springs forward, hugging Leo as he holds Raph down. "It's been way too long!" Leo lets go of Raph with one hand to hug Donnie back. "Are you still up for that game of cards?" Donnie pulls back, confused for a second. "Oh! Oh yeah! Totally, once all this is cleared up." He wipes his eyes from the small pooling of tears.

Leo nods and takes Donnie's hands, putting them over Raph's. "Keep him here until someone comes to help." He stands up and starts jogging away, going back to the office. _Whenever Leo was lucid he ended up taking charge of any and all situations concerning his brothers, even if they really didn't need to be._

Leo finds his way back into the office, just as his eight minutes were up. "Ah, punctual as always. I trust you handled everything alright?" Mr. Higgs says. Leo nods. "Perfectly. Raph had a rash or something on his chest and I guess that induced some... _Tactical hallucinations._ "

"Is anyone with him now?" Mr. Higgs says, writing something down as Leo sits in the chair across from him. "Yeah, Donnie is holding him in place until someone can come help... He's really having a bad day..." Mr. Higgs nods. "Indeed. Now, back to business. How much of today do you remember?"

Leo folds his arms on the desk and lays his head in the middle. "Well, I remember I didn't eat breakfast but I was really hungry... I remember getting out of the building and then... Then I remember seeing..." Leo stops and turns his head, looking away. "What did you see Leonardo?" Mr. Higgs asks, leaning forward a bit.

Leo curls his hands into fists. "I-I don't want to say." Mr. Higgs looks down at his notebook and back up at Leo. "It's okay. Just tell me what you saw." Leo puts his head all the way down in his arms and shakes it slightly. "I thought I saw my sister." Leo tenses up tenfold. "I'm sorry, _I'm sorry_ , I tried so hard for her to go away but I won't stop seeing her." Leo pushes his chair back.

"I tried so so hard. I know you said this one is bad. I know you said this one is so bad but It won't go away, I'm sorry." Mr. Higgs just looks at Leo calmly. "Leonardo, I know you're trying... I know... But you cannot keep seeing this." Leo pulls his feet up onto the chair with him. "Maybe we should change your medication back."

At this Leo shoots out of his chair. "No!" Immediately he recoils. "I-I mean... I- That stuff makes me feel so... out of control. When I take it I already feel like I'm drowsy and out of it." Mr. Higgs nods. "Fine, We won't change it back just yet, but you may need extra counseling." Leo shakes his head. "Just-... Why? Why does this one have to be so bad? I see things all the time!"

"If you didn't think this one was so bad, nothing would have to change!" Leo says, throwing his hands up. Mr. Higgs motions for Leo to sit back down. "Leonardo you had an unhealthy obsession with that creation of your mind. Your sister died when you were three and ever since then you've been seeing her and calling her your _'friend.'_ "

Leo frowns. "You started to get into trouble after a while because of this hallucination. In trouble with the _law_ Leonardo." Mr. Higgs adds when he sees Leo roll his eyes. Leo's eyes widen slightly. "I-I don't remember that..." Mr. Higgs continues. "Yes. You hurt your brothers and father defending this ghost and you nearly got yourself killed multiple times." Leo looks terrified at this.

"Do you see _now_ why that I believe this hallucination is bad? It's dangerous to yourself and others. I don't want to see you get hurt." Mr. Higgs finishes. Leo hugs himself. "I'm sorry. I understand. I'll try harder."

* * *

Raph sat up against a cold white wall, his stomach and chest burning like the fires of Hell. He wanted to do something about it, itch it, bite it, peal it off, _something_. But he was being held in place by his older brother who kept reassuring him that he would be okay and that he couldn't touch it.

He didn't know or understand why not? His skin stopped burning except for that spot. Why not get that part to stop too? "D-Don... Donnie... Donatello, I- Please? I need ta' get it off." Raph says shakily. Donnie shakes his head. "Nuh-uh. You can't. If you _'get it off'_ you'd be taking off your skin. And that'll hurt a lot more than it does right now."

"It hurts though." Raph says pleadingly Donnie holds him tighter as he struggles more. "D-" Raph starts to say something but he freezes, something in his brain goes off and he stiffens up, grabbing onto Donnie's wrists tightly. He shakes subtly and his eyes widen to the size of golf balls. His breathing comes out is short huffy breaths as his shaking gets more violent.

"Raph? Raph, oh boy... Hey, come on man, you're gonna be okay." Donnie says, pulling him away from the wall. He tries to hold Raph in place as best he can for the full two minutes that he convulses. Raph goes limp but he was still obviously conscious. He groans and slowly moves his arms to wrap around his chest, letting Donnie go. "HELP!" Donnie shouts, realizing how badly they needed someone now. "HELP! MY BROTHER JUST HAD A SEIZURE!" It was amazing that nobody had come to their aid yet.

Raph groans again, turning over to his side. "W-whath happolnd..." Raph slurs, his speech messed up. "H-Hey buddy, hey... You-you had a seizure, do you feel okay?" Raph tries to sit up, placing a hand down on the floor while the other stayed tucked by his chest. "I-... Doth- Donth feel g-g-gooood..." Donnie nods and puts a hand on Raph's shoulder. "Okay, okay someone will come help us okay?"

Raph doesn't say anything, bringing his hand up to his chest and tries to stand up. He doesn't seem to even care that he had just had an episode. "Hey, Raph, don't get up. You might fall. In fact, you probably _will_ fall." Raph still doesn't listen, standing shakily and stumbling over to the wall. "I wanna go to _bed_ Dondie."

Donnie stands and puts his arm around Raph's waist. " _Raph._ " Donnie wines. "Why do you always have to be so stubborn?" Donnie looks around, helping Raph to wherever it was he wanted to go, anxiety building up in the older brother. "Someone! Please help us!" Donnie yells again, just as a man in scrubs dashes around the corner.

"Boys, boys, boys. What's the problem, what's going on?" The man says, helping Donnie steady Raph. "H-He had another seizure. His speech is slurred and off. Please help him?" The man nods and takes Raph from Donnie completely. "I'll help him, I promise." Donnie holds his stomach and bites the inside of his cheek, bouncing up and down a bit on his toes.

Raph tries to push the man away, grumbling. "Hey, hey, I'm gonna help you okay?" Raph grumbles again and looks back at Donnie. " _Donnie..._ " He says, his words still slurred. "Ngghhh-" Raph moans, pushing the man off of him and stumbling to the floor. "Gooo awaay..."

"Raph please don't make this difficult for them. They're just going to help." Donnie says, helping his younger brother up. "We need to get you cleaned up." As if on cue three other orderlies come around the corner holding cleaning supplies, medical kits, and a few other things seeing as they didn't know the extent of the problem at hand.

Raph groans and glares at the new orderlies. He leans against the wall and tilts his head against it. "Hey bud, can you tell me your name real quick?" A younger looking man says. "Noooo... _Go away._ " Raph drones out. "Come on, just a couple questions, can you tell me your name?" Raph shakes his head and slides to the ground. "IIII... I'm Fiiiinne- Stooop it."

Donnie taps Raph's shoulder. "Come on, they just need to make sure you're okay. You know these questions, I'm sure. Just answer them and you'll be done." Raph groans and drops his head forward. "Mmmmm... K..." Raph finally complies. He goes through the _'four W's'_ easily and they check him over for any cuts or bruises from falls. They put ointment and a bandage over his rash to make sure he wouldn't mess with it.

One of the nurses leads Donnie away. "We'll take care of him, don't worry. For now just we'll just go back to your room. You wanna play a game of checkers? Chess? I think I could get a board for us to play on." As two people help lift the boy up to leave, Raph has a muscle spasm causing his arm to fling out to the side, hitting one of the men in the neck. "Ah- Shiiiiiiit. Sor-Sorry." He tries to say. "Not your fault, it's okay..." The man who had been hit says. They sit for a minute, letting the man recuperate.

"Come on ya big lug, you're still pretty out of it." The second orderly says, both helping Raph up a bit further so that they could take him to a safer place to rest. As the orderlies help him walk down the hall He looks around and frowns. "Where's Leo?" He asks sluggishly. "He probably went back to your room. No need to worry." Raph slowly shakes his head. "Nooooo. Leo has- He has to be here." Raph slurs, pulling against the two strong men with incredible strength for someone who had just had a seizure.

"No, now come along. You need to rest. Staying in the halls isn't going to help anyone." One of the orderlies says as he pulls Raph down the hall. "NOOO!" Raph shouts. He yanks on his captors arms, wanting to be let go. "I-I neeed- I need- MIKEY." Mikey rounds a corner, holding a stuffed bear and a letter. "Raph, I was just looking for you! Donnie said- He said you had a seizure and I thought I'd bring you this guy to make you feel better." Mikey waves the bear's arm.

"You're such a dor-dorrrk..." Raph says with a small, lopsided smile. "Yup, that's me." Mikey says, holding the letter closer to his chest. "Hey, so are you going to go get fixed up so that we can chill?" Raph mumbles a bit to himself and nods before allowing the orderlies to help him down the hall. "I'll see you later man!" Mikey shouts, walking away.

He could tell Raph wasn't lucid and he could tell he was feeling the after affects of a seizure _hard_. Acting like everything was normal helped on both ends. As Mikey walks away he hugs the bear to his chest. He was hoping that by now Raph would be in a bed somewhere. Somewhere where he'd be calm and he could give the unstable boy what he needed.

He wanted to make sure Raph knew what happened. Most of the time Raph didn't remember what happened in his seizures or after so Mikey had planned that he'd give his brother the letter and once he was alright enough to understand he'd read it and he'd know what happened. Raph always hated not knowing what was going on with himself.

Mikey goes to the room he shared with his brothers, sitting down on Raphael's bed and staring at the bear. "Didn't go too well?" Donnie asks, his gaze stuck on a journal. He had told the nurse that he just wanted to be alone. "Raph was still in the halls. He was fighting against the orderlies... _again_..." Mikey flops back on the bed. "Donnie?" Donnie doesn't change his stare. "Yeah Mike?"

"Why do you think it's so hard being the most lucid out of the four of us?" Finally Donnie puts the journal down. "Why do you ask?" Mikey shrugs and plays with the bear. "I don't know... Raph's just had a weird day and Leo hasn't been lucid in a while and you and me seem like the only ones who actually are slightly in touch with reality... You know?"

Donnie turns to be facing Mikey completely, though he was across the room. "I kinda know how you feel. We can be out of it sometimes but Leo and Raph? They're out of it _a lot_ , like _all_ the time. It's scary you know? Like with Leo he's always a danger to himself and sometimes others. But he's much less _scary_ than Raph..."

Mikey nods. "Raph's really scary sometimes... Not just scary like I'm scared for me, but scary like I'm scared for _him_." Donnie nods and walks diagonally across the room to the only bed on the right side of the room. "Yeah, when Raph hurts himself, and I've caught him a couple times, it was really bad."

Mikey and Donnie share a shiver. "I'm also afraid he'll get himself in trouble. Like one time he was in solitary. _For a week_. Because he went into a rage and broke someone's arm. I _was there_ Mike. It was _terrifying_." Donnie sits down on Raph's bed along with Mikey. "I'm never that scary am I?" Mikey asks, putting a hand on Donnie's wrist.

Donnie flinches and Mikey lets go. "Oh, Sorry." Donnie puts his hand on Mikey's "It's fine. Raph just has a tight grip... No, you're never on Raph's level of scary. The most you've done is maybe startle me with a scream or something. You're the most lucid out of all of us so I wouldn't expect you to be too scary."

"Am I?" Donnie finishes quietly. Mikey wants to destroy any idea of Donnie thinking he was scary to him but he couldn't lie. "Well... Sometimes... When you're completely out of it... You say some scary things, _do_ some scary things." Donnie furrows his eyebrows, propping himself up. "Like what?"

Mikey hugs the bear to his chest tighter. "I-I really don't want to talk about it..." Donnie sits all the way up, turning his torso towards Mikey. "Mikey, come on. You have to tell me. If there was something about you that you didn't know I'd tell you, one hundred percent."

Mikey picks at the bear's fur. "You-you uh... You've talked about death statistics and talked about how likely we are to die here. Sometimes you'll act like everyone here isn't really here. Like you think your mind has made all of this up and you're actually in some abandoned building or something. That's when you start doing scary things." Mikey says, not looking at his brother.

Donnie puts his head in his hands. "I know I'm not gonna like the answer... But what did I do?" Mikey grabs Raph's pillow and shoves it over his face. "You started to shut me- us out. You stopped doing anything and you just laid in bed. You didn't eat for a week and that was the longest you've ever been out of it. You'd also start talking to the... _'Demons'_ you called them. Talking to them about morbid things you could do to us."

Mikey fiddles with his fingers. "So I guess it's not mostly what you did, but what you didn't do." Donnie bends his fingers into fists. "I'm sorry Mike..." Mikey shakes his head through the pillow. "It was a while ago now. It's fine. You don't do that as much anymore." The two wallow in the silence until their usual check in opens the door. It was a tall black man who Mikey swore didn't own a hair on his body.

"Hey boys-!" He says in a peppy voice. When he sees them in the state they were in he walks up to then and places a hand on their shoulders. "Hey, lets get you guys out of here. You're starting to look like shriveled up prunes." When the boys don't move he sits next to Donnie and folds his hands in his lap.

"What's going on? What's going through your heads right now?" Donnie shakes his head. "Nothing, just... Stuff." The man pushes further. "What kind of _'stuff?'_ " He makes air quotes with his fingers. Donnie turns his head away, leaning forward on his hands. "Stuff about our brothers." The man smiles a little, his yellow scrubs being the only other bright thing in the room.

"Mind filling me in?" Donnie sighs and closes his eyes. "We were talking about how Leo and Raph aren't doing so hot... Actually Leo is lucid for the first time in a _long_ time." Mikey throws the pillow off his face, small forgotten tear tracks were left there. "Leo's _lucid!?_ How come you didn't tell me! That's like not telling someone their brother is home from the freakin' _war_ Donnie!"

Donnie fumbles with his words. "Well- uh I um... You were so worried about Raph when I told you about his seizure so I didn't think to tell you." Mikey throws the pillow in Donnie's face and jump up. "We need to go find him, _now!_ " Mikey starts out of the room, leaving his brother and the man behind.

"Hey! Mikey wait up!" Donnie shouts, pushing himself off the bed. "Hey, hey, hey. Hold up. Do you even know where your brother is?" The man says, grabbing Donnie's wrist. "Ow!" Donnie jolts back and snatches his wrist from the man. "Oh, I'm sorry!" The orderly says. "I didn't know. What happened?"

Donnie bounces on the balls of his feet. "Uh- Uh, Raph. He grabbed me during his seizure. Can I go make sure Mikey doesn't tackle our brother or something?" The orderly gestures to the door and Donnie takes it as an okay, running after Mikey with a smile on his face.

* * *

When Donnie finds Mikey he was on the floor on top of Leo. He latched onto him in a hug before glancing through the large window in the door beside them. "Leo! I can't believe you're lucid! Are you visiting Raph too?" Donnie chuckles and helps Leo by yanking Mikey off his chest. "Oh, yeah, I heard he had a seizure after I left and I thought I'd make sure he's okay. Was it a bad one?"

Donnie nods. "Kinda. You know that one seizure he had just before you came here?" Leo nods. "It was like that." Mikey slumps in Donnie's arms. "Have you seen him yet? Is he upset? He was last time." Donnie shakes his head. "No, I haven't-" Mikey interrupts. "He seemed mad but he was with a couple guys at the time so who knows how he'll be around us."

Leo cringes. "And... He seemed pretty out of it too." Mikey adds. Leo sighs and pulls Mikey to his side. "You know what? As long as we're all together and alive, I'm okay with it." Donnie walks up and hugs Leo. "It's so good to have you back." Donnie says. "I never left bro." Leo says, opening the door to the room Raph was in.

There was a medical ward where anyone who was hurt or had hurt themselves would stay. Raph ended up there a lot. "Oh man, I think he's sleeping." Mikey says in a whisper. "Of course he's sleeping Mikey, he just had a seizure." Donnie says, elbowing his little brother. "They're going to have to wake him up soon to make sure he's okay..." Leo mumbles to himself. All three crowd around his bed and Mikey sets the bear next to Raph.

"Are they gonna wake him up soon?" Mikey asks, looking to his older brothers for answers. "I don't know Mikey, They don't do it at exact times or anything." Leo says as Mikey pokes Raph's cheek. Donnie nods and puts a hand on top of Raph's. "He'll be okay though. He's been through worse." Mikey puts the letter on Raph's chest and watches it as it moves up and down steadily as Raph breathed.

Leo points to the letter and gives Mikey a confuse glance. "In case you forgot?" Leo says, reading the print on the letter. Mikey nods. "Yeah, I thought that since he sometimes forgets things after seizures I'd write out what happened for him so that we don't actually have to talk about it, especially if it's embarrassing and he gets to know what happened."

Leo nods. "That's cool of you Mike. Good idea." Mikey beams at his older brother's approval. "Guys, I think he's waking up." Donnie says in a hushed tone. They watches as Raph moves around in the bed. "Raph? Are you awake?" Mikey asks. Raph flings an arm around, lightly slapping Mikey's arm. "Nmmm..."

"Mikey..." Raph groans. Mikey leans closer. "Fuck off." Leo snorts and Mikey crosses his arms. "I guess you don't want the letter then seeing as all you have to say to me is _'F' Off.'_ " Raph opens his eyes and blinks slowly. "Wha' letter?" Raph says, his speech not completely there yet. "The letter I wrote you just in case you couldn't remember what happened." Mikey says with a huff.

"Where-?" Raph looks down at his chest and rolls his eyes. He picks up the letter and tears it open. "Mike... I don't know what I'd do without your stupid ideas." Raph grumbles, unfolding the piece of paper. "If they were so stupid you wouldn't want them at all." Mikey says, smirking and leaning on Donnie. "How much can you remember?" The aforementioned genius asks.

Raph shakes his head as he starts reading the letter. "None of the start of this letter, that's for sure." As he continues down the page his eyes grow narrower and narrower until he crumples the paper and chucks it across the room, crossing his arms and glaring away. "Uh... Hey Raph?" Donnie says.

"Wadd-ya want." Raph grumbles, sinking lower in the bed. "Are you mad at us?" Donnie asks cautiously. "because technically we didn't really do anything. And to be mad at us would be uncalled for and unjust seeing as-"

"I'm not mad!" Raph interrupts. All three of his brothers look at him with wide eyes. Raph looked very child like. He had his arms crossed still but it was accompanied with a small pout and watering eyes. "I'm upset." Leo wraps an arm around his brother. "It's alright Raph. Everything's _fine_." Raph shifts. "You don't know anything. You're never even lucid."

Leo shakes his head. "I am now and I know you're having a rough day-" Leo stops when he sees Donnie and Mikey shaking their heads. "A rough day?" Raph says quietly. "A ROUGH DAY?!" Raph slams his fists down on his thighs. "That's all you have to _say?!_ You're having a rough day?! It's _way_ fucking more than that!"

" _You_ brought us all out and into that sewer! _You_ made us all get in trouble _again_ and because of that shit. I _raged_ against someone and fucking _BIT_ them! I got a rash on my stomach, I cut myself, and I had a fucking seizure an' I can't remember shit of it! _So don't tell me_ I'm having a rough _fucking_ day, I'm having a rough fucking _LIFE!_ " Raph slams his fists into the head board of the bed, a cracking sound emanating from the action.

Leo sits, completely unfazed by Raph's outburst. "Come here." He says quietly, just now noticing Donnie and Mikey had moved away a few feet. Leo pulls Raph into a tight hug as slow tears start scrolling down Raph's face. "I know. I know it's been bad. But all you need to do is remember that we're here for you no matter what."

Raph goes limp in Leo's arms, bloody hands dropping onto the white sheets. They had cracked the head board, leaving Raph with open wounds all down the sides of his hands. Raph's slow, quiet tears start turning into loud sobs wracking his whole body. If they didn't know any better they would've thought he was having another seizure. _He hated crying._

Donnie was the first of the two to get closer to Raph. He places a hand on his shoulder and rubs it. "I'm here Raph." He says calmly. Mikey steps closer slowly before crawling on the bed and hugging Raph from the opposite side as Leo. "I'm sorry Raphie. I shouldn't have given you that letter." Mikey says, knowing that Raph knowing what he'd forgotten pushed him over the edge.

If Raph could say anything he would've told Mikey it wasn't his fault. He would've told Donnie Thank you. He would've told Leo that he loved him. Instead Raph just sits there sobbing in a comforting circle of his brothers while orderlies charge the room after hearing his shouting. Raph could only form one coherent thought at that moment: _'Anger issues suck.'_

* * *

 **AH, I had so many changes I had to make in this chapter! I had something written into the entire chapter having to do with Raph's seizure that I had to change. Anyways, I hope you liked it! These first few chapters are going to go up pretty fast but after five it'll slow down quite a bit. XD**


	3. Chapter 3: Calm Before The Storm

**(2889 Words)**

It was nearly half past three in the morning and Mikey still hadn't slept. He knew there was nothing to be afraid of but with all his brothers sleeping soundly he couldn't help but feel _uneasy._ He looks around the dark room, noting the empty bed on the other side of the room for the millionth time that night.

Mikey's night had gone in stages. First all of them stayed with Raph until he finally drifted off to sleep and the nurses kicked them out of the room. He was sure that if they had made a fuss they could've stayed for longer but none of them did. They had strolled down to their room, all of them exhausted from the day.

Leo had played his game of cards with Donnie, even letting Mikey play a round with them, before heading off to bed. Mikey had pleaded with him to stay up, not wanting him to go to sleep and wake up in a worse off state without spending more time with him. Leo had stayed up for another hour after that before nodding off sitting up in his bed. It was only ten at night but Leo couldn't make it any longer.

For three more hours Donnie stayed up with him the two of them talking well after lights out. Mikey had poked and prodded Donnie, trying to keep him awake but he too fell asleep. Mikey was sure he wasn't even trying.

Mike sits on his bed and stares over at the empty one across from him. He didn't like it when one of his brothers was sleeping somewhere else, he needed to be sure they were safe. Mikey knew he would be able to sleep just a bit better if he could check on Raph but they were locked in every night so that they wouldn't go out and hurt themselves.

Mikey lets out a small wine and looks around the room again, pulling his feet in and holding them in the middle. The room was so dark and shadows cascaded down the walls and across the floor, causing Mikey's stomach to drop. He wasn't scared of the dark. _Not at all._ Mikey scoots backwards until his back hits the wall. " _Not. Afraid. At all..._ " Mikey says out loud.

He sees a shadow move on the floor and he jumps, letting out a small shriek. He yanks his blankets up to his chest and stares around the room. It was getting increasingly scary to him and his body starts to shake. He wants to climb out of bed and crawl in with one of his brothers but he felt paralyzed. " _D-Donnie...? Leo...?_ " He says quietly, his wide eyes jotting around the room.

His brothers remained sound asleep to his dismay. "Leo. Donnie?" He says a little louder, seeing a shadow start to shake and ripple. As it starts to take form Mikey digs his nails into his arms. "LEO, DONNIE!" Mikey shouts urgently. The shadow takes form in a hulking black beast charging at Mikey like a bull. He screams, putting his arms up in an 'x' over his face.

It goes straight through him as his brothers jolt up in bed. Mikey shakes hard, opening his eyes to see the face of a demon. It's horns curve up and around and it's mouth slit in an elongated high smile. He closes his eyes and feels panic tightening his chest painfully. Donnie and Leo were at his side immediately, asking him what was wrong and telling him he was okay.

Mikey just shakes his head, clawing deeper. His breaths were coming in quick uneven gasps. He knew none of this was real. He knew that they were just fake images in his head but it was terrifying nonetheless. He feels a hand slide it's way under one of his. It was warm and callused, not so much that it was uncomfortable, but comforting. A second hand goes into his other. It was softer than the first but still a bit rough.

Slowly but surely he starts calming down, dropping his defenses. He finally starts hearing the calming words of his brothers. They lull him to sleep with their voices, letting him go into an easy sleep. The oldest brothers don't move from his side for a long while, not wanting to leave their baby brother alone in the darkness.

* * *

When Leo wakes up he rubs his head and glances around. He was on Mikey's bed along with him and Donnie. They were all in a jumbled mess and he had a huge red mark on his exposed arm from Mikey laying halfway on top of him. Leo slides out of bed and lets his bare feet hit the floor. He had no idea what time it was seeing as they weren't allowed open clocks with Raph in their room.

He goes to check and see if the door was unlocked. If it was then he would know it was at least seven thirty. He turns the handle and it clicks open. He lets out a breath of relief. He, like his brothers, hated being locked in. When Donnie first arrived he'd almost had a panic attack over thinking that they'd be locked in if there were a fire in the night. He was assured that the doors unlocked when the fire alarms went off and he settled down.

Leo doesn't know what was going on with him at the moment but he felt completely out of it. Not in the same sense as before but still off. He steps out of the room, sending a fleeting glance back at his younger brothers. He groans as the bright lights hit his eyes. Once he's blinked enough to clear his vision he frowns. The whole hall looked like it was turning and twisting. Leo hated when it was like this. He stumbles down the hall, leaning on the wall for balance.

He definitely wasn't lucid, not by a long-shot, but he knew it. He could tell he wasn't and he wishes he couldn't. Even though he knew it would hurt his brothers he wishes he was completely gone. "Oh gosh-" Leo says, feeling his stomach turn. He stumbles as fast as he could toward the nearest bathroom, only making it as far as the sinks before he empties his stomach into them.

He stands over the sink, his arms shakily holding him up. "I hate it when it's like this..." He mumbles, starting to rinse his vomit down the sink drain and filling up his cupped hands with water. He sips it in and spits it back out, washing out the putrid taste. He fills his hands one more time and drinks the water. Thankfully this was more of a morning thing, it'd pass soon enough.

He slowly sits down on the tile floor, his hands dripping wet. "What was I going to do?" He asks himself confusedly. He stands up, the room only moving slightly under his feet as he walks. "I was... I was checking on Raph." Leo says, unsure if that was actually what he was doing. He walks slowly out of the room and down the hall. He didn't feel as bad as he did before he got sick but it still wasn't the best.

Like a zombie, Leo shambles down the last hall until he got to the ward where Raph was staying for the night. He remembers thinking that he didn't know their day's schedule but he discards the thought. As soon as he gets to the room Raph was in he looks through the glass window, seeing something he never thought he'd see again.

Raphael was sitting by the end of the bed he had been in at night. There was an orderly who was creeping towards him but once he got within three feet of Raphael he would lash out at the man, yelling angrily. Leo knocks on the door and Raph immediately sucks his limbs in to his chest and puts his head down. The orderly glances up and shakes his head. Leo frowns and points to Raph through the glass. Once again the orderly shakes his head. Leo's frown deepens. Quickly his expression changed to complacent and he shrugs, opening the door against the man's orders.

"Hey Raph." Leo says, keeping his voice calm. "What's up bro?" Raph doesn't listen, just turning away from Leo's voice. "You wanna have breakfast with me? Mikey and Donnie are still asleep." Leo offers, the room still spinning slightly.

The orderly starts walking closer and Raph stays distracted with Leo. "I'm gonna warn you right now, I'm not really feeling one hundred percent, but I know that I'm not so its _kinda_ like I am..." Leo says, sitting next to Raph up against the side of the bed. He puts a hand in Raph's short, fiery red hair and shakes it around a little, letting him know he was next to him.

"It's okay Raph, you're fine." Leo says with a slight happy twinge to his voice. Raph sniffles and the orderly was now at his side. "So breakfast? Let's just calm down a little and we can go." Leo says with pep in his voice. He crosses his arms and keeps his head turned away before letting out a long held breath. "...Okay, I guess you two can go to breakfast then." The orderly says. Raph stands up and starts walking out the door without Leo.

Leo stumbles after him, thankfully his balance improving slightly after sitting down for those short moments. He tries to jog to catch up to Raph's speed walk but feels a wave of nausea hit him. He slows down, settling for walking a few feet behind Raph. He probably didn't want Leo right by him anyways seeing as Raph was hugging himself like it was below zero in the warm halls. Leo had been in this situation before. It was horrible on both ends.

* * *

 _It was four years and a month ago. Leonardo was thirteen and he was going to be going to a mental health facility in a month. The whole family was under enormous stress but the one who was taking it the hardest was Raphael. He had been struggling for a year with something unknown to the family and the fruits of his labor showed up that fateful day._

 _Raph hadn't been eleven for long so he assumed this was just part of what his father and brother's called puberty. He got random spasms in his body, sometimes he'd black out for a couple seconds. He was absolutely sure he was fine though. Even if he wasn't. He had to be strong for his family as Leo went off to get better. He wasn't going to tell anyone._

 _Unfortunately that was Raph's downfall. They had been having a game night, one of the last one's with Leo, and he felt a twinge in his head. At this point he was used to it but it got more and more urgent as it felt stronger and stronger. His body started to spasm as his family panicked around him. Leo had nearly went off the deep end seeing his brother convulse like this._

 _He was sure that Raphael would die here in their living-room during a family game night. Donnie had held Mikey close to him as their father rushed to hold his son. He tried holding him still but he was shaking too bad. Leo watched in horror as his little brother moved in an unnatural way, like a demon had possessed him._

 _When he had stopped moving Raph lied limp in his fathers grasp. Leo moves forward and looks at Raph sadly and then to his father. "Father, what happened? Is Raph gonna be okay?" He asks, pulling at the long handle to his satchel he refused to take off. "I'll make sure to get him help Leonardo." Their father says. He had lifted Raph away, him to the hospital and leaving his second oldest son in charge of the remaining two while he was gone._

 _For the next two weeks Raphael hadn't spoken a word. He would be silent all day, all night. When he was close to talking or making any noise at all he would have a partial seizure, taking his consciousness away from him and leaving him groggy and anxious._

 _He was embarrassed, not being able to be the_ 'strong one' _for his family. He stopped going to school for the first week but his father forced him to go the second Every day Leo would try to get Raph to talk to him, feeling the precious seconds of his time with his brother slipping away. But every time he tried Raph would shut him out._

 _"Raph, please talk to me." Leo would beg. He did this every night before they went to bed. He'd slide onto his bed, not getting under his blankets. Leo would sit on his bed across from Raph's and plead for hours before finally going to bed. He had no idea when Raph finally went to bed but it was never before one AM._

 _When Raph finally started talking it was explosive. He first started by yelling at Mikey for poking fun at him. Raph screamed his head off at his only younger brother, threatening him and just barely holding himself back from attacking him._

 _Donnie ran to hold back the hot head and got hit._ Hard. _Raph yelled at Donnie and then back at Mikey as he started backing away. When Leo finally got in the room Raph had been tackled to the ground by Donnie before their father took over. Leo ran over and grabbed Raph's hand, telling him to calm down along with his father who was holding him down._

 _It was the first of many meltdowns like this and it was terrifying. The only reason the raging boy had stopped was because he saw the look of pure terror on his little brother's face. After that he stopped doing much of anything for one more week before he started acting like everything was normal. Out of the blue he was talking, going to school, and being part of the family like he use to._

* * *

Leo didn't want it to take that long again. He shakes his head, pulling himself out of his day dreaming memories and back into reality. Raph had gotten pretty far ahead and Leo decides that he should either hurry up or leave his moody brother alone. "Raph wait up!" Leo says, jogging to him, completely unbalanced.

"H-Hey, Raph, What's the rush here?" Leo says, out of breath. He doesn't answer, understandably. "You _that_ hungry?" He says, almost nudging him but then thinking better of it. "Um... Okay, we can just walk." Raph reaches down and grabs Leo's hand tightly. Leo holds back a smile and continues walking.

He doesn't know why Raph did it he just knew he did and he didn't want to ruin it. He keeps his mouth closed and doesn't change anything about his hand. One small move could make Raph pull away. When they get to the cafeteria Raph pulls Leo to a table and sits, not letting go. They sit like this for a while until finally Leo has to say something.

"Um... Raph? Did you actually want to _get_ some breakfast?" Leo says, shrugging with one arm. Raph slumps slightly, leaning lightly on his brother. Leo's jaw drops. He doesn't know what to do beside sit as still as possible and enjoy the rare physical touch from his brother. This wasn't unusual from Mikey or Donnie but from Raph it was like seeing the original copy of space-heroes season one episode one.

They sit like this, comfortably only for a few minutes when Raph jumps off of him at the sound of a high pitched sequel. "Ohmygosh Raph you're so adorable!" _Oh no..._ Leo cringes, noticing even his hand was free now. Mikey bounds up to the two and swings his arm around Raph. "Do I get a hug too Raphie?!" Donnie trudges into the room, his eyes half lidded.

"Sorry." Donnie mumbles, sitting next to Leo. "He woke up like this." Leo nods and glances over at his two youngest brothers. Raph was shoving Mikey off of him but Mikey refused to let go. Leo puts his head in his hands. "It's gonna be one of _these_ kinds of days."

* * *

 **This was another of those pre-written chapters that I had to edit a bit more heavily. More stuff related to what I took out of the last chapter so nothing important. Anyways, I do hope you all are enjoying this story! I have some fun ideas I can't wait to implement so watch out for the next few chapters coming up!**


	4. Chapter 4: Mikey's Mania

**(8659 Words)**

Mikey wakes up feeling like he was on cloud nine. every time he blinked he was filled with a pinch more joy. "Woah-ho-ho~" Mikey whispers to himself. He pushes himself up from the bed and looks around. Everything seemed so fun, he didn't know what to do first. "D-Donnie, Donnie, Duuuuuude~" He says, shaking his brother.

"Ngghh..." Donnie groans, pushing up a couple inches. "What?" Mikey giggles and pokes Donnie's cheek. "I don't know!" He exclaims, bursting out in laughter. Donnie groans, burying his face in the bed. "Not again." Mikey bounces towards the door. "Hey! You know what we should do?!" Mikey says. "We should start like a- a- a food fight or something! Wouldn't that be fun!? That'd be _so_ fun!"

He bounds out of the room with giggles exploding from his chest while Donnie throws the blankets off of him to give chase. "Mikey, hang on!" He calls, trying to rub some of the sleep out of his eyes. Running through the halls many-a orderly tries to catch them but unfortunately for them they were trained better than that to get caught by someone as they simply ran past.

Within the minute they were in the cafeteria, Donnie out of breath from the unexpected sprint while Mikey was still bursting with energy. "Hey! Hey Donnie look! It's Leo and Raph! Let's go say hi, let's go, let's go!" Donnie shakes his head. "No- No, Mikey that's a bad Idea." He tries to tell his little brother, but by then he was already off to go say hi.

"Ohmygosh Raph you're so adorable!" Mikey bounds up to the two and swings his arm around Raph. "Do I get a hug too Raphie?!" Donnie trudges into the room, his eyes half lidded. "Sorry." Donnie mumbles, sitting next to Leo. "He woke up like this." Leo nods and glances over at his two youngest brothers. Raph was shoving Mikey off of him but Mikey refused to let go. Leo puts his head in his hands. "It's gonna be one of _these_ kinds of days."

"LEEEEEOOOOO!" Mikey says in a sing song voice. "Awe man- Leo I-I was so tired last night- I'm like really really really happy that you're still okay right now. I really really really hate when you don't know what's going on and it really sucks and- I should go get something to eat!" Mikey interrupts himself, jumping up and skipping to the diminishing lunch line. Donnie sits next to Leo and sighs, putting his head in his hands.

"Aren't you going to get some food Donnie?" Leo asks timidly, his stomach still churning. Donnie shakes his head. "'M not hungry." A few seconds pass and he speaks up again. "It sucks having people you care about Leo... It really does..." The oldest brother doesn't say anything. He already knew where this was going. "I know he's happy now but as soon as this fades he's going to be so- so sad... He hates these. They remind him."

Leo nods, keeping his eyes closed. "I'm so sorry again Donnie, I just- I didn't mean to-" He stops, feeling his hot tempered brother clasp his rough hand back back around his own. "It's not your fault Leo." Donnie mumbles from where he had covered his face with his arms on the table. "I just know he's going to be upset and I don't want any of us to be upset. You're already upset, Raph's upset, Mikey's going to be upset once all this passes- I just want all of us to be okay."

"We will be Donnie, I promise we'll all be okay eventually." Leo tries to assure. "Yeah but what about up until then? Me and Mikey have to try and keep everyone together. When you and Raph aren't lucid enough to think straight we're the ones to have to try and keep you from falling apart! and then poor Mikey- When none of us are... He's all alone." None of them talk for a moment, a long beat of silence.

Raph grunts and both of the older boy's heads whip over to him. He was staring intently at the table, one hand holding Leo's and the other laid limp over his leg. They could tell he wanted to talk. He wanted to say something but it was like his mouth was glued shut and his throat closed up. His eyebrows furrow and his frown deepens as a low growl starts to come bubbling out of his chest. "Donnie, can you go find a piece of paper or something and something to write with?" Donnie gets up and Raph looks even more annoyed.

"Fast please?" Leo adds. Raph's growl gets louder and he squeezes Leo's hand tighter. "Hey, just calm down Raph, we're going to find something-" Raph lifts his right hand and slams it down on the table, letting out a huff of air from his nostrils. "Hey!" Leo says abruptly. "Anata wa ima ochitsukudeshou Raphael!" He stops shifting around and his breathing lightens just a bit but he was still angry. "Leo I got the-" Just as Donnie returns, Mikey comes back to their table grinning ear to ear with a tray full of food. "Hey guys! Wow! Would you look at all the stuff I got! The ladies were really nice today!"

Mikey scoots in right next to Raph and puts the tray down, putting it half in front of himself and half in front of Raph. "They gave me sprinkles on my waffles and put the whipped cream on the side and they also gave me-" Mikey whips out a frosting covered cookie from behind his small carton of apple juice. "THIS!" Donnie sits down next to Leo, watching Raph and Mikey. It was surprising that Raph hadn't blown up. He slides a napkin and a pen down to Leo who passes it on to Raph.

He picks up the pen and sloppily writes a message back. Mikey beside him tries to get a look at the note but his angry older brother slaps a hand over his face, just barely shaking his head. "Awe, come on Raphie! I wanna see!" Mikey whines. Raph grunts in response. Covering the right side of the napkin as to respect Raph's privacy, Both Donnie and Leo read the note. "He's stronger than you think. You weren't there, you don't know."

Leo looks at Raph. "What do you mean, of course I was there, I was part of it?" Raph moves his head side to side by only an inch and squeezes his brother's hand. He would've pressed further if it wasn't for Mikey flopping over in front of Raph, not living not being the center of attention at the moment. "D'you guys wanna go to the rec room? I'm bored! I don't want to go to morning therapy either. Let's just skip it all together!"

"Uh- Well Mikey hang on a second-" Donnie says, leaning forward to look past his other brothers to the youngest. "Mikey?" In the split second that he took to look at him he was gone. The hyper energized and impulsive boy was already dashing out of the room, giggling manically. "I'm not hungry anyways, I'm going to go after him and make sure he doesn't get himself into trouble." Donnie says to an un-moving Leo.

"Leo?" He says, looking at him, a hint of fear wavering into his voice. If it were a cartoon Leo would have static filling his eyes, he seemed to be frozen in time, buffering for who knows how long. "Ah- Um... Oh." He looks to Raph. "Do you want to stay with him?" He asks almost sadly. They had their brother back for just a few hours and he was gone again. When he came out of his static he wouldn't know what was going on. He wouldn't know anybody but his brothers and he'd just try and leave again.

Raph just pulls his arms up onto the table and lays his chin in them, staring straight ahead. "Okay. Once lunch is over someone'll bring you two to the rec room and then to your sessions. If Leo wakes up before that then just stay with him." Donnie instructs before leaving the room at a brisk pace. He navigates the halls quickly and finds his way into the room he was looking for. He glances around, trying to pick his brother out of the early birds in the hospital.

Finally he catches his bright orange hair bouncing around next to- "April!" Donnie didn't like making a scene but for April, he'd do anything. He weaves his way over to the pair, nearly ignoring his brother completely in favor for this girl. "Donnie! Hey, what's up?" April was a young volunteer at the hospital, she wanted to become a nurse so this was a nice training opportunity for her, though it did get scary sometimes.

"Nothing really. How are you? What've you been doing?" He asks, smiling nearly as wide as Mikey had been. "I'm good, thanks for asking. I've been pretty busy with school and other things, I almost couldn't come in today!" She chuckles. Donnie's smile fades a little and becomes a little more strained. "Wh-Why wouldn't you have been able to come in?" April bobs her head from side to side. "Just homework and I'm helping this guy with math stuff. We've had a few study dates but he's really not getting it. Not like you would've Don, he's not like you."

Donnie's smile fades even more. _'Not like me? What does she mean by that? And a study DATE? Who calls them that?! It was just a date, she went on a date with him. Who is he? He's not like me- He's not crazy like me, that's what she means.'_ There was an odd silence between them before Mikey got tired of not having any stimulus. "Oh my gosh, APRIL, I'm so done here! I'm just not going to go to therapy today, I don't want to. I want to go outside and skateboard! I haven't done that in so long!"

April makes a face that's half between happy and upset. "Mikey, you know you can't do that." She says half smiling. "But I can! I know how to get out and I know where my board is so I can do that, easy!" Mikey replies, not seeming to grasp what April was saying. "No, Mikey I mean you aren't allowed to do that, you'll get in trouble. Back me up here Donnie." She looks to where Donnie had been standing only to see him walking out of the room, hands moving wildly like he was talking with his hands. "Donnie?"

April frowns and looks back to Mikey. "Well he would've been on my side." Mikey raises his eyebrows and smirks, his baby like cheeks making it look almost adorable. "He's mad that you went on a date with some guy." April jerks her head back in surprise. "What? That's- No, he's not- That's not _why_." Mikey nods. "Yes it is. He's said that he likes you." April shrinks a little in discomfort. "What's his name? Is it like a bad boy name like _'Zak'_ or _'Chase'_ or something?"

April shakes her head. "You know Mikey, I don't really feel comfortable talking about it." Mikey bounces on the balls of his feet. "Why not?" He asks, just as happy as he was when he first woke up. "I- It's like if someone asked you about Leo that didn't know you or Leo, it'd be uncomfortable to talk about it with that person." April responds. Mikey stops bouncing. "Okay." He says abruptly. "I'm gonna go see what Leo's up to." Mikey then turns, running out of the room. "Don't run Mikey!" April calls after him.

It wasn't long before he slid back into the nearly empty cafeteria. "Raph! Leo! Guys! I had the best idea ever!" He trots up to them and takes in the scene. Raph was holding onto Leo's wrist, pulling him down to the bench while Leo resisted, trying to get up. "Mikey! Raph's gone nuts! We're stuck in this- this cafeteria? And he wants to stay here but we need to get out of here!" Mikey smiles. He knows where they are and he knows Leo isn't thinking straight again but he takes that fact and uses it to his own advantage.

"Let's just leave then!" Mikey says with a smile. "Raph can stay here if he wants!" Raph's nose wrinkles up at that and he bares his teeth. Mikey slides behind Raph and jabs a point on his back, making him release Leo for just long enough for him to get free. "Let's go!"Mikey grabs Leo's arm and pulls him out of the room. "Mikey, where are we?" Leo asks, looking around. " _I-D-K-_ man but I know the way out."

Dashing through hall after hall, down two flights of stairs and then out a door, leaving them in a basement full of junk. "Hang on, I gotta get something real quick, then we can leave." Mikey lets go of his brother and looks around the dingy room, moving boxes and bags until he finds four skateboards stacked behind some bags by a metal closet. "Got 'em!" He grabs a board with orange wheels and one with light blue. "Let's go!" He shoves the one with blue wheels into Leo's hands and runs over to some stairs with a hatch above them.

As the doors of the hatch fling open sunlight fills the basement and the fading warmth of summer graces their skin. Mikey sprints out while Leo cautiously follows, closing the doors behind them. "Where are we Mikey? I don't recognize this area." Leo says, looking out through a fence planted in the grass. "Don't worry, I know the way home." Mikey replies. He easily climbs over the fence, making it over the barbed wire at the top like he had done it a million times.

Leo slowly follows suit, looking around to try and figure out the area. He drops to the pavement below next to his little brother and sets the skateboard down. "Which way Mike?" Mikey just sets his own board down and skates off to the left, leaving Leo to follow suit soon after. Leo wasn't used to not being the leader and not knowing what to do or where to go but he had to go along if Mikey said he knew how to get home. He had to trust him.

They skate for over an hour, having had to hide a few times from police cars, until they finally stop in front of an old apartment building. Mikey smiles but it's different. It's more like a sad smile. They go inside and press a button to be buzzed in. "Who is it?" An old, tired, accented voice asks. "It's Mikey and Leo!" Mikey says much too loudly into the speaker. There was silence and then they're buzzed in. They go up the elevator and stop at the third floor, getting off quickly.

"Mikey I don't... _I don't recognize this place. Should I?_ " Leo asks fearfully. "Don't worry about it bro, we're almost home." Mikey says, watching the apartment numbers. They stop at _'315'_ and Mikey knocks on the door nonstop until it opens. "DAD!" Mikey shouts, jumping up to his father, wrapping his arms around his neck like a child. "Boys, what are you doing here?" the tall man asks, tears welling up in his eyes. Leo crosses his arms and Mikey lets his arms drop. "Well I didn't want to do what they wanted me to so I decided to leave. Leo came too."

"Michelangelo, you cannot do that!" The boys' father says. "Aren't you happy to see us?" Mikey asks, frowning. "Yes- Yes I'm happy to see you boys but you cannot just leave like that! You could get lost, or hurt, or worse!" Yoshi says, bringing the boys inside. "Yeah, Leo didn't even know where we were going once we got inside!" Mikey laughs. He sits down on the couch and crosses his legs so his feet were on the couch.

"Michelangelo... Please. If you feel the need to go and run, to leave or not do anything, tell the doctors and nurses. They will make the right decision and help you to think clearly." Yoshi looks to Leo. "Leonardo-" Leo takes a step back. "Leonardo, my son, please sit." Leo stays still. "If what you're saying is true, then why didn't you come visit us? If we were in a hospital, why don't I remember seeing you there." Yoshi's face scrunches up in pain.

"They wouldn't let me. You all would get too riled up when I came if even one of you was not lucid. You would end up running away or trying to at least. After you all ran the last time and you were gone for days, they told me to stay away for some time. Let you all settle and they would call me when they found you and they would let me know when I could come visit you all again." He sighs and sits on the couch himself. "The doctors told me it would be better for you if I was not visiting as often so I was not."

"None of this makes any sense." Leo says, shaking his head. Yoshi walks forward and places a hand on Leo's shoulder. "My son. I would never do anything to harm you. Everything I do is for you and your safety." He brings his eldest son to the couch and has him sit down. "Neither of you move. I must make a phone call." As he leaves the two boys alone Mikey scoots closer to his brother, bouncing a little.

"Aren't you happy Leo? We made it home! I don't think we can stay for long but we're here now!" Leo tenses up, folding his arms even tighter into himself. "We get to see dad, and we got to skateboard again, and it was a really nice day too!" Mikey continues on. Leo purses his lips. "We might get in trouble later but it's no big deal!" Finally Leo hits his hands down on the couch. " _No Mikey!_ It's _not_ fun. It _is_ a big deal." Leo says angrily. "I don't know _anything_ and I trust _nothing_ and _no one_ except for Father and he _doesn't like this!"_

Mikey smiles and looks away. "Well that's okay, we don't _have_ to do _everything_ dad li-" His words are interrupted by the loud sound of skin on skin. Mikey sits in shock, looking at his fuming brother. Half a second later their father rushes in, a phone propped up in between his shoulder and ear. "What is going on in here!?" Immediately Leo's face turns bright read, almost as red as the hand-print on the side of Mikey's face, and he bows his head low. Mikey doesn't move.

"LEONARDO." Yoshi shouts, covering the phone to spare the other person's ears. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Leo says quickly. "I didn't mean to- I'm sorry." The man's lips purse. "Go to- Go sit in the other chair." Yoshi says. He wanted to send Leo to his room but who knows what would happen to him if he was left alone. Leo quickly stands and jerkily walks over to the opposing chair where he sits, slouched over and head down, hands folded in his lap.

"Michelangelo." Yoshi says to his youngest. "Are you alright?" The boy slowly shakes his head. "What time is it." He asks, monotonously. Without hesitation he glances at the clock on the wall and answers. "Ten in the morning my son. What does that-" He stops, hearing the person on the phone say something very quietly and quickly. Mikey makes a small gasping sound and holds his breath.

 _'No, no, no, no, no- I hate this, I hate this so much- It's okay, It's okay though. It was only a couple hours, not long. It's no big deal. IT'S NO BIG DEAL, STOP CRYING.'_ Mikey blinks, feeling his body moving again. His face was wet and his eyes red. _He still wasn't breathing._ "Michelangelo, breathe, _breathe._ " His father says to him, rubbing his back. A few more seconds of strenuous breath holding later, Mikey lets out his breath. He takes a few more shuttering in and out.

"Okay, Okay It's fine, I'm fine, It's all okay." Mikey starts chanting to himself, obviously not very convincingly. Yoshi talks into the phone for a moment, very quietly and then hangs up. "Boys, someone will be here in a few moments to pick you up. Please do not cause any trouble." Leo's head jerks up. "But-!" He stops himself. _He needed to tell his father that that place he was- That place he had been in was_ bad. _That they held them captive. But he had done something_ very _wrong. He had hurt his little brother and he_ deserved _to be punished._

Their father turns and sits on the couch next to a chanting Mikey. "Two days in a row? Two in a row, oh God it's getting worse..." Mikey whispers to himself. He didn't want it to get worse. He was getting better. Wasn't he? Better than before that's what he always told himself, he was better than the time before, but thinking that just made him think of the first time. The first time. Unfortunately for Mikey he didn't have a choice in the matter, the scene played before him like it was on a big movie screen.

* * *

 _"Okay now Michelangelo, when we go to see your brother, he may not know who you are or where he is. You must be prepared for that." Mikey bounces on his feet, smiling and nodding at his father's words. He had felt ecstatic all day, throwing caution to the wind. His father thought he was just happy to be visiting all of his brothers in one day. His little thirteen year old mind was flourishing with endorphins._

 _They walk inside the large building and stop at the front desk to get visitor passes. Mikey looks around, scanning the room. There weren't a lot of people in the lobby but the ones who were looked very tired. Mikey trots over to them and smiles wide. "Why do you look so tired?" He asks a woman sitting on a padded bench. "Oh, hello, Um... I've just had a rough couple of days honey." She says, teary eyed. "Why?" Mikey asks quickly. The woman frowns. "Just some things, I don't really want to talk about it." Mikey bounces on his toes. "How come?" A man who was standing beside the woman turns around and glares at Mikey._

 _"How about you go run along and stop pestering us." He says angrily. Mikey shrugs and runs back to his father just in time for him to turn around with their passes. He was lucky he was cute and looked a lot younger than he was, otherwise Mikey could tell he would've gotten much worse from that man._ Good thing he didn't care _. His father gives him his pass and they walk over to an elevator with a nurse who presses the right button to take them up._

 _"Are you excited to be seeing your brothers today Michelangelo?" The nurse says, brushing a strand of her long brown hair behind her ear. Mikey looks down at his pass, his name written there conveniently for everyone to see. "I guess." He says, though his voice never conveyed a hint of uncertainty. The rest of the elevator ride was quiet, luckily it wasn't long before the doors slid open and the nurse leads them out and through the halls. "Right now Leonardo and Donatello are both in separate rooms. They're next door to each other so you can take your pick." The nurse says._

 _Yoshi randomly chooses a door and it opens up to his second eldest's room, Donatello. The nurse goes in, then Yoshi and finally- Mikey stays outside. Donnie and his father greet each other, smiling and happy. They wouldn't even notice if Mikey wasn't in there. Which he wasn't. He goes next door and pushes the door open. "Mikey!?" Leo says as the door opens up. "How did you get here? What are you doing here? They didn't get you like they did Donnie did they?" Mikey shakes his head._

 _"Nope!" Mikey replies. "We have to get out of here Mikey, we_ have _to. I'm so glad you opened that door, it wouldn't open from my side. We have to get out of here_ now. _" Leo says, standing up and taking his much smaller brother's hand. "Okay!" Mikey says, just excited to do anything. Leo leads him out of the room and down the halls, around corridors that he hadn't seen before and to a dark, cold staircase. Without hesitation, Leo and Mikey scramble down the stairs and into the basement._

 _"Mikey, help me find something that can break a lock." Leo says, rummaging around in all the tools and boxes. "How 'bout this?" Mikey says, picking up a large tool with a sharp scissor like end. "Yes, exactly!" Leo says, grabbing the tool and taking it to the top of a small staircase. He cuts a small padlock on a slanted double door. It falls to the floor with a clang and Leo pushes the doors open. "Come on!" He says, climbing out with the tool still in hand. Mikey follows and watches as Leo starts to use the tool to cut a hole in the fence, just big enough for them to fit through._

 _"Where are we gonna go bro? Haha,_ go-bro... _" Mikey says, not stopping for one second to think about what they were doing. "We're going to get out of here. I don't know where we're going to go but it's not going to be here!" Mikey looks up at the cloudy sky and then back to Leo. "It looks like it's going to rain." He says loudly as he climbs through the hole Leo had made in the fence. "Don't worry about it Mikey." Leo replies. They start jogging down the street, looking for someplace to hide out. Twenty minutes of running later Mikey makes a sharp right turn into the street. "Leo look at that candy place!" He says, stopping for just a moment._

 _"MIKEY!" Leo shouts, running out, grabbing him and pulling him back to the side walk, just before a semi truck speeds past them. Both brothers now breathing hard on the ground are frozen. "Mikey what the hell!?" Leo shouts as small droplets of water start to fall from the sky. "I don't- I don't- I was... Leo... we can't be here." Mikey says, his happy demeanor that had stayed with him all day finally dropping._

 _"What?" Leo says, standing up. "We can't be here. You're supposed to be at the hospital, we weren't supposed to leave._ Leo _, dad's going to be_ so mad at us. _" Mikey says, almost whispering. "Leo we need to go back, we need to go back_ right now _." Leo shakes his head. "What? No! We can't go back Mikey-" He looks down at his little brother. He had silent tears spilling down his face and mixing with the rain that had suddenly picked up._

 _"Mikey, I'm not going back there." Leo crosses his arms and glares. Mikey folds his legs in and crosses his arms as well. "Then I'm not going with you." He says, sitting on the edge of the side walk, nearly falling back into the road. Leo makes a frustrated noise and flings his arms up. "Mikey we HAVE to go! We can't just stay here!" The younger boy shakes his head defiantly. "I'm not going anywhere."_

 _Leo's face contorts with conflicted feelings. He paces back and forth for a minute before growling and sitting down beside his brother. "You're really going to make me go back there Mikey?" The boy doesn't move. The only real visual of the passing of time for the boys was the cars moving by and the rain pouring harder and harder. They just started to see lightning strikes when a big van with a hospital logo pulls up in front of them._ It was time to go home.

* * *

It really was the same. But this time, _he_ was the leader.

Everyone's heads look to the door when a loud knock thunders through the room. Leo pulls his knees up to his chest and puts his head down on them, he was visibly shaking. Mikey on the other hand sat perfectly still. He didn't want to leave, yet, he didn't want to stay here. _It's like if you cheated at a game and won. Yes you won, you got what you wanted, but not in the way that you should've. Yes, he got home, but it wasn't in the right way. He didn't get better, he shouldn't be home._

Yoshi goes to open the door and in walks Mr. Higgs and two big orderlies. _They learned from last time._ "Hello boys." Mr. Higgs says tiredly. "Been a rough day all around I see." He walks further into the room and stands in between the two boys. "I had to help out with your other brothers as well today, we might need to have a group session when we get back." Leo keeps his head down but Mikey almost robotically stands and heads towards the door. He didn't want to say goodbye, it just hurt more that way.

One of the orderlies follows Mikey out to make sure he went to their van, the other walks over and coaxes Leo up and helps him out the door. He was shaking so bad his legs wanted to give out on him. Mr. Higgs smiles sadly and picks up the boy's forgotten skate boards. "I am sorry, my sons, they just miss home, I am sorry for their behavior." Yoshi says. Mr. Higgs shifts the boards awkwardly, unsure of how to carry them.

"It's alright Mr. Hamato, we've dealt with this before. Some changes may have to be made on our part to keep them safe and in place, but you have no need to apologize." Mr. Higgs and Yoshi share a nod and the therapist leaves, wanting to make sure the boys weren't stuck in the van for too long.

Once everyone was in the van they started to drive away, neither boy making a sound.

* * *

Donnie had left the rec room not ten minutes ago and he was already pacing his room. He knew April would never love him, he was a freak of nature, a psychotic idiot who didn't know his boundaries. Why would she ever even consider liking him? Why would he ever think she would? He grabs his long hair and pulls on it tightly, his face forming a hard grimace. His hair was normally in a small ponytail to keep it out of his face but now it was everywhere, the hair tie keeping it in place long forgotten.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Since there were so many of them in one room and they were at the end of a hall, the door and part of the wall was made out of glass so he could easily see who was there. April, looking a little meek, pushes open the door. "Hey Don?" She says quietly. With his hair so messy, his eyes tired and baggy, and his all over disheveled look, Donnie _knew_ he looked crazy. He didn't want April to see him like this. "Go away." Donnie says, turning away from her.

April walks closer, reaching to put a hand on the tall boy's shoulder. "No, Donnie, listen, back in the other room, when I said study date, I didn't mean-" Donnie turns around and shoves the girl back. "I SAID GO AWAY!" April stumbles and falls to the ground. Donnie quickly realizes what he'd just done and takes a step back. "I-I, April-" April scrambles up and runs out of the room. _She was only a volunteer after all._

Donnie crouches down, grabbing either side of his head and yanking on his hair once again. Inside he had so many words floating around, but outside all he could do was yell. And so he does. He yells and yells, wanting the right words to come out, wanting to be able to say something to fix everything but he can't. He can't form any words. Within seconds, two big orderlies come in, ready to either calm him down or restrain him.

"Shh- shhhh, it's okay, it's okay take a breath. In and out. Deep breaths." Donnie can hear them talking but he can't make out the words. He stops yelling but his breathing was too fast and loud anyways. He could barely make out one word in his mind. _'Hyperventilation'._ It made him feel the smallest bit better that he could make out some semblance of a word. He was smart. He was the smart one. Words were a big part of that.

He uses that thought to help himself. _'Hyperventilation- breathe or cause to breathe at an abnormally rapid rate, so increasing the rate of loss of carbon dioxide.'_ It was an easy memory to recall after he had gathered the word in his mind. _'Abnormal- deviating from what is normal or usual, typically in a way that is undesirable or worrying.'_ With each word his breathing slows. _'Undesirable- Not wanted or desirable because harmful, objectionable, or unpleasant.'._

After a handful more definitions he had calmed himself enough to let go of his hair and relax. One of the orderlies leaves and soon after Mr. Higgs walks in. "Donatello." He says sternly. Donnie drops his head low. "I'm sorely disappointed in you. What happened to make you hurt one of our volunteers?" The therapist bends down to be on Donnie's level and waits. Donnie just shakes his head. "I didn't mean to hurt her." He mumbles.

Nobody says anything for a few seconds, letting the silence fill the room. "Why don't you stay in here and take a break for a while. I'll come back later and we can talk then." Mr. Higgs says. He and the orderly stand up and leave the room, hitting a button that Donnie knew to be what locks him in from the outside. He sighs, slumping over on the floor.

* * *

Raph elbows a woman as she tries to reach for him. "Come on, the next breakfast group has to come in, you have to move." Raph glares at the table, stiff as a board and just as unmovable as a bolder. _He was waiting for his brothers to come back and he wasn't going to move until they did._ "Do I have to call security to move you?" The woman asks. _'Call 'em up.'_ Raph thinks, a smirk finding it's way onto his face.

The woman tries one more time to move him but Raph just shrugs the small woman off again. She rolls her eyes and walks away, coming back a few minutes later with two large security guards. "Alright boy, you gotta go kid." One of the guards say. Raph snorts. There was _no way_ these two knuckle heads were going to get him to move from this room.

The second the guard touches him Raph whips around, standing and twisting the man's arm. If he went any further, he'd break it. He stands, glaring at both guards and the nurse. The guard who wasn't at the mercy of Raph's wrath takes a step forward but stops at the yowl of pain coming from the first guard. Any movement from any of the three adults resulted in Raph twisting the arm more and more. "Nobody move." The trapped guard says, a grimace of pain on his face.

"Just move, you're strong, just take your arm out." The nurse says, almost annoyed. The first guard shakes his head. "All he has to do is _twitch_ and my arm is broken." The man says. "So nobody better move a _fucking muscle._ " It was at this point that Raph knew he had to make a choice. He was basically holding these three hostage. He didn't want them to go get more help, but he also didn't want to keep them here. He just wanted to sit alone and wait for his brothers to come back.

 _He could just break the guy's arm. It'd keep him out of the game and then he could make the other two leave one way or another. Then again, he breaks the arm, he looses his leverage. He'd be taken out and put in solitary and that's no fun. Nothing to beak, nothing to do. He disengages, pushing the man out to his left. Nobody moves still. His arm was bound to still be hurting and the other two may or may not try and start anything._

"Is this _really_ worth it?" The second guard asks. "Why can't he just stay in here?" The nurse rolls her eyes. "There's _multiple_ reasons why he can't stay in here! The cafeteria is only made to seat a certain amount of people per meal time, he can't break schedule otherwise he'll start to want to do it for everything, and now he's gone violent so he could go off on anyone who comes near him!" Raph growls. They were talking about him like he wasn't even there- _Like he was an animal._

The second guard moves in carefully. "Alright, come on now buddy, wouldn't you rather sit on a couch or something, not these stupid metal benches?" Raph's muscles tighten, moving to a familiar stance he'd learned long ago training with his father. The guard lunges in to grab his arm but he moves much too quickly for him. He slides out to the side and turns his back to the table he had been sitting at so that he could keep all three in his line of sight. The first guard comes back, this time going to restrain both of his arms.

It works for just about half a second before Raph grabs the man's arms and lifts his feet up, putting all of his weight into the man's hands. Fortunately for Raph, he was not a light person. The guard's arms give out and Raph slides under the table and out the other end, now having an obstacle in the way of them and him. The nurse frowns, seeing how it may be hard to catch the boy.

Raph's eyes dart to the right as he sees her run out of the room. _She was definitely going to get help. The'd be bringing the needles and he'd be down for the count, put in solitary for sure. it was go big or go home at this point._ Raph takes a running leap up the bench and table onto the first guard, tackling him to the ground. As he tries to get up the guard grabs his legs, making him fall back onto the man's stomach. The guard makes an _'oof'_ sound, assuring Raph that he had just knocked the wind out of him.

He slams his foot into the side of the guard's head and gets up just in time for the second guard to come back. Raph smiles. _He hadn't had this much action in months!_ He dashes at him, landing a swift jab to his gut and an elbow to his back. He spins around and jabs his heal in the back of the man's knee which takes him down to the floor. Raph kicks his back and when he falls forwards, swings his leg around and drops his heal directly into his spine. The man collapses to the floor and neither guard gets back up.

He walks back to the table he had been sitting at and sits back down, arms folded on top of the table. Was it really so hard to just leave him alone? Not ten seconds later three more guards come in along with the nurse from before. All three of the guards were equipped with a row of needles. "Raphael. You may come along quietly to solitary or we will take you by force, either way you're leaving here and going there." The nurse says, peaking out from behind the large guards.

Raph growls. He _could_ talk if he wanted to at this point. He could tell them all to go to Hell. He could say that he's waiting for his brothers and that he was just worried about them. He could tell them that he just wanted to know they were okay and he'd leave... _But he wouldn't._ He wouldn't let his first words after all of this to be to these _shmoes_. It normally took him _weeks_ to talk and if he was able to talk after just one day he would _not_ let it be to these people.

Raph turns on the bench, ready for another fight. "WAIT!" The doors burst open once again and in comes Mr. Higgs. He looked frazzled and tired, like he had been running around quite a bit. He takes a moment to catch his breath. "You don't- You can't keep going with force." He pants out. "He'll just reciprocate it back, isn't that right Raphael?" Raph blinks, his glare fading and his face moving towards neutral. He was the only one not pretending he wasn't there when he talked about him.

"Can we talk about this?" Mr. Higgs asks, walking past the guards and the angry looking nurse. "What's going on? Why do you want to stay in here so bad?" Raph grunts and turns back to face the table. "Where are your brothers? Leonardo and Michelangelo?" Mr. Higgs asks again. Raph just shakes his head. "Did they leave Raphael?" The man asks, sitting next to him on the bench. Raph nods and stares down at his hands.

"Well I'm glad you stayed here then. Do you know where they went?" Mr. Higgs continues. Raph doesn't move. He knew they left but he didn't know where to, just that they got out of the building. "Can we move this along? I've had to postpone the second round of breakfast and there are some patients that will take that as some sort of sign not to eat. Mr. Higgs turns and looks at the nurse. "Let them in then. We're going to sit here and talk for the moment."

"It's alright if you don't know, I can have people go out and look for them." Mr. Higgs looks at the two guards who were slowly getting up off the floor. "I'll tell you what, if you promise not to hurt anyone else for any reason and you apologize as soon as you can to those two men-" He puts his hand up to his face to block his mouth from view. "Even though we both know it was kinda their fault-" He drops his hand. "You can stay in here for as long as you need."

Raph lets a rare, genuine smile slide onto his face and nods. Mr. Higgs stands and walks back past the guards. "Send your next breakfast group in, Raphael will be staying here for a while longer." The woman huffs and walks out after him while the guards let out a sigh of relief knowing that they didn't have to try and take down this boy. They instead go and help their colleagues up, patting them on the back and laughing at how they got taken down by a fifteen year old boy. " _You should-a seen him! He was like a ninja!_ "

* * *

 _Finally._ For ten thirty in the morning, there sure had been a lot that went on that day. After Mikey and Leo got back they met Raph in the cafeteria. He had stood up and hugged both of them tightly before going back to his nonchalant facade. The small group moved finally to their room where they met Donnie, just as frazzled and upset as he was when Mr. Higgs had left him nearly an hour ago. They calmed him just enough to get him to move to the bed all four had gathered on.

That's where they sat now. Four brothers on the bed, looking to the man who held their lives in his hands. "Boys, I think we all know things have gone a little wrong these past few weeks." Donnie and Mikey nod while Leo and Raph keep their heads down and staring at their hands. "People have gotten hurt, you've run away, you've had a decrease in lucidity- There must be changes made or else things will keep getting worse."

Raph grabs onto Leo's hand unexpectedly. "I don't want to have to do this but I think you boys may have to split up." Suddenly all eyes were on the therapist, some weepy, some angry. "I know you won't like it but it seems you just get in more and more trouble the longer you're all together. There's a small chance you could stay in pairs of sorts, but it'd have to be the perfect pick."

Donnie wants to stand up, do irrational things, like Raph or Mikey would do, but he had to keep his cool, he had to be the sane one here. "You- You can't do that. We need each-other, we need to take care of each-other." Donnie says, trying to keep calm though you could hear the waver in his voice. "I'm sorry Donatello, but taking you all apart may just be what's best for you. Leonardo and Michelangelo seem to run away together so often, and Leonardo and Raphael will fight every time the latter is lucid. It would be best if you all had separate rooms."

Leo shakes his head. "No, no this isn't right. I don't care what you do to me but just don't hurt them and don't take them away from me, they're the only things keeping me going." Leo pleads. Mr. Higgs sighs. "I'm sorry boys, but unless you can show me that being together will help you, you'll need to be separated." Mikey stays silent. He knew that it would be better to be apart but he just couldn't imagine living if he wasn't with his brothers twenty-four-seven. He leans his head on Donnie's shoulder and closes his eyes. He was too tired to care anyways.

Raph on the other hand was squeezing Leo's hand so hard it was loosing circulation. He was _fuming_. _Mr. Higgs had been so kind all day but now he decides to separate him from his brothers? Not a chance! He didn't care what he had done for him, if he thought that he was going to take Raph's brothers from him he'd have another thing coming._ He wanted to start swinging but he controlled himself that much, growling instead.

"Use your words Raphael." Mr. Higgs says. _Use my words? I'll use my fucking words!_ Raph pushes his brothers out of the way to stand in front of the man before them. "YOU FUCKING FUCK- YOU THINK YOU CAN TAKE MY FUCKING BROTHERS AWAY FROM ME THEN YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER THING COMING. I COULD TAKE YOUR ASS ANY TIME- YOU THINK YOU CAN DO THAT? YOU CAN'T DO SHIT! STAY AWAY FROM MY BROTHERS MOTHERFUCKER!" Raph stops his pent up rage fueled rant, huffing loudly.

"You _did_ tell him to use his words..." Donnie mumbles. A sad, tired laugh escapes from Mikey's mouth before he goes silent again. Mr. Higgs looks down, seemingly collecting himself. "I'm sorry boys, but for now you'll be in separate rooms. If that proves to be unhelpful then you may switch back." He turns to leave, stony faced. "Please gather your belongings and be ready to move to a new room in an hour.

Once the man was gone the boys all react. Mikey starts crying softly while Raph growls, smack his fist into the wall hard enough to crack open the plaster. Donnie tries to console his little brother crying on his shoulder but is having a hard time trying to keep it together himself. Leo sits on the bed in the same position as before, staring down at his hands. " _Why is- What- Who!?_ \- We didn't even _do_ anything!" Raph rambles, fists shaking with energy.

"I don't wanna leave you guys." Mikey says tearfully. Finally Leo speaks up. " _You won't have to Mikey_ , at least not for long." The three brothers all Look at Leo. _He was the eldest, he was the leader._ "He said we'd get to come back together if it didn't _'Prove to be helpful'_ , so all we need to do is make this place a _living Hell as long as we're apart._ " It didn't matter if they were all lucid or all out of it, they'd listen to their brother if it meant staying together. _Together, they were a force to be reckoned with._

* * *

 _ **Whoops, I had this and a couple other chapters done and ready to post, but I just never did, I forgot I guess. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed! This was one of my longest chapters I'd ever written for any of my stories! Below is my old author's note that I made when finishing the chapter.**_

 _ **"Hahaha! After a YEAR of not even TOUCHING this story I finally came back and slapped 8000 words on this baby! WHOO. This has been so fun to come back to and write. I don't know if I'll ever publish it, but if I do, then you'll be reading this! So hi! And bye! I hope you liked the chapter!"**_


	5. Chapter 5: Living Hell

**(8011 Words.)**

They had missed their first therapy appointment and, because of all that had happened, were given the rest of the day off. Mainly to get settled in their new rooms. What the workers didn't know was that they had just given them all the time they needed to make a plan and put it into action. Leo sat on the bed, giving out instructions like he'd done it every day. "Donnie, I'm going to need you to cause some trouble. Take some tools, break a computer, do whatever you do and make something that'll cause a whole hell of a lot of trouble."

Donnie nods. He normally didn't like being the one who caused trouble but in this case he'd make an exception. "Mikey, you need to start something crazy. Start a food fight or a rave or something. Something big that will be hard to shut down." Mikey smiles. "I'm good at parties dude, I can get anyone to get up and dance!" Leo smiles back and then turns to Raph. "Raph I need you to get in as much trouble as possible. Start fights, flip tables, make it a goal to see how fast and often you can get put into solitary."

Raph smirks. "Yeah, I can do that." He says raspily. Using his voice was still awkward but he didn't necessarily have to use it for what he was going to do. Donnie speaks up once Leo had stopped talking to them all. "Leo, what are you going to do?" The eldest brother just folds his legs and clasps his hands together. "Nothing." After a perplexed moment, Leo continues. "I'm not going to move, I'm not going to eat, I'm not even going to speak. I'm going to stay right here until they bring us back together."

Leo bows his head. "We start tomorrow. We will spend one night apart but we will be together in spirit." Mikey leans over and wraps his arms around his leader of a brother. "Leo, I don't want to be alone." He mumbles. "None of us do Mikey" Donnie interjects. "It's just for one night. We won't be apart long." They share a look and slowly depart, gathering their small amount of belongings they'd gathered over their time at the hospital.

Soon they were escorted to their new rooms. They were seemingly at all four corners of the building but they all settle in. Leo however, just like he'd said, didn't move. Nobody could get him to move from that room. They let him stay seeing as his brothers had all left, but that didn't mean they'd stop trying.

* * *

The next morning they all grouped together back in their old room. It was after breakfast but none of them had gone to eat. In their room they went over the plan again, making sure they all knew what they were to do. Once the younger three left the room, Leo goes back to his silent meditation, blocking out all sound and sight from his mind.

Donnie was the first to break off from the group, messily putting his hair back up. He had entered the rec room which had the most amount of electronics ready for him to break. He wouldn't get far without some tools but lucky for him there was a flickering light that the hospital had finally decided to fix. It was easy enough to swipe a couple tools while no one was looking, even easier to get himself under a closed off desk to mess with the computer that was connected to the TV.

Just a couple minutes later Donnie had sent a signal to the TV to play the goriest horror movie he could find online, and gotten himself just enough pieces to help him along in his plan. As the screams start Donnie whistles to himself and slips out of the room unnoticed. Sure the cameras would show him tampering with the controls, but was that not the point? He makes his way down the hall and to one of the main bathrooms.

There weren't any paper towels in the bathrooms but there sure were a lot of hand dryers. With the bathroom being mostly empty and un-monitored, Donnie slips his stolen tools into the dryer and takes it apart like it was nothing. He takes the motor and a few other components and slips the casing back on. It wouldn't work anymore but he didn't care, he used his own towel. Again walking the halls, Donnie runs into a small problem. He was about to head into the nurses station to take some band-aids and tape but inside sitting on a small swivel chair was April O'Neil herself.

She was holding an ice bag to her shoulder and staring down at the floor. He needed that tape but he couldn't go in there with April in there. He thought about pulling a fire alarm but that would ruin everything for his brothers. He'd just have to go in and get out. _Don't say a word_. He takes a deep breath and marches inside, eyes trained steadily on the cabinets on the wall. April's head jerks up as he enters. "Oh- Hey Donnie." She says timidly.

Sticking to his plan, the boy doesn't look away from his work, searching for the tape and anything else that might possibly help in his endeavors. "Whatcha got there?" April asks, turning her chair a little to face Donnie. He grabs the tape and decides to abandon his quest for more, turning swiftly to leave. "Donnie, what are you doing with all that?" April says just as Donnie steps out of the room.

He scrunches up his face. He knew he wouldn't be able to talk to her normally, but the way she was acting, hurt but not angry, it made him want to say something. _He should just apologize. He'd feel better and so would she._ Donnie turns on his heel and looks directly at April, taking a deep breath in before speaking. "-Do you know where I can find any batteries." He mentally face palms at himself, but he can't go back now.

April, taken aback, breaks eye contact to look anywhere but the person in front of her. "Uh... Um, I- Uh- Don't know?" She says, shrugging. " _'Kay._ " Donnie replies, speed walking away from the room. "I don't even need batteries! I shouldn't have even said anything!" Donnie mutters to himself. He seemingly absentmindedly places all of his pieces down on the floor in front of a bench, piecing things together in plain view of anyone who would walk by.

He specifically chose a spot with a camera aimed right at himself, making quick work of his project. He picks it up, gives a little wave to the camera and walks off towards the cafeteria. Luckily for Donnie, Mikey hadn't begun a food fight just yet. There really wasn't anyone in the large room besides a couple of people cleaning up. Fast enough that nobody noticed he was doing anything, The teen grabs a plastic cup and scoops out the most liquid part of the garbage he could, trapping it inside his small machine.

There was no suspicion around this even though he knew one of the cleaners watched him leave. It wasn't long until he was back where this hell of a day started, the rec room. He sees Raph standing in a corner, scoping out the area and sends him a small nod, placing his device on the floor and sliding it half way under a folding chair. For a minute, he too looks around the room. His movie had been shut off long ago, the screen pulled up and the projector turned off. There weren't as many people in the room as before but it made sense, there were more things going on right now, in a few minutes though, the room would be filled back up.

He walks back over towards Raph and watches the cameras as he does. "Do whatever you want, but don't touch my machine, and don't let anyone else touch it for at least five more minutes." Raph nods and Donnie walks out of the room once more. _With that set up and done, he didn't really have much else to do. He could do things like mess with door locks, take out all of the handles for the toilets, unplug the wifi, but nothing super big. Nothing except..._

* * *

After Donnie had broken off from the group, Raph wandered the halls for a while, looking for anything and anyone to go agro on. He yelled at a few of the younger or more easily scared patients, not caring much if they were in view of the cameras or not. He wanted to start a fight but all of the people who he'd normally get in fights with were moved to different wards or different hospitals all together.

Getting angrier by the minute, knowing he had to do something, Raph decided to do what he does best, punch his problems away. He found the best way to get someone's attention was to be loud so loud he will be. He stops where he was walking, turning to the wall and just starts beating at it. He throws punch after punch, trying things with his elbows and the palms of his hands, everything he could do to break both this wall and his body down.

Unfortunately for Raph's plan, the orderlies were on high alert for him today. Within a minute he had people rushing up to him and restraining him. He lets them pull him away from the wall without a struggle, hoping to continue his crusade. He had made a substantial hole in the wall. If he had been given more time he could've made it even bigger. The orderlies ask him what he was doing and he makes up an excuse about seeing a bug or something and they let him go after bandaging up his split open hands and arms.

 _It wasn't much but it'd all be reported and written down. Every little thing he did. He hated it but in this single instance it worked to his advantage._ He walks to a bathroom doorway and stands in it, crossing his arms and leaning against the frame. He'd never had this much trouble causing trouble before. Raph huffs and glares at the opposing side of the doorway. "Excuse me, could you move for a moment?" Raph looks up and a _'so done'_ expression forms on his face. A young man with pale blond hair and matching skin, probably a volunteer, stood beside him. " _No._ " Raph says like it was ridiculous of the man to ask.

"Uh... Why not?" The man asks. He didn't know what to say. Normally when you ask that sort of question, the person either moves, or gives you a good reason why they can't move. "Because fuck you, that's why." Raph says, looking away from the young man. The man sighs. "Don't make me walk _all the way_ to the other side of the ward to take a leak kid." Raph glares at him and he rolls his eyes and walks off. That was when he realized he needed to get in trouble with other patients. The orderlies and nurses wouldn't fight with him very long, but fighting with other patients might just work.

He pushes off the door frame and starts dashing through the halls. He normally tried to stick to the _'no running'_ rule but seeing as he was running to go start a fight, it probably didn't matter anyways. Deciding that the most populated room would be best to fight in, Raph heads to the rec room, _soon to be the wreck room_. He slows just before reaching the doors and strolls casually inside and leans against a wall near the corner of the room.

It was usually easy to pick out who'd be easy to pick a fight with. Anyone who looked restless or in a mood, anyone who was up pacing or had an orderly near them at all times. They were all easy targets, people who'd be ready to get mad. Unfortunately he just didn't have a ton of options today. Most of the people seemed pretty calm. His eyes lock onto one person as they sit in a chair. He had longer blond hair that laid messily around his head.

He'd started a fight or two before. Raph was about to get up and start his _'master plan'_ when he sees his brother walk into the room. He set something Raph couldn't quite make out under a chair near the blond boy he had been eyeing up and starts to walk away but they make eye contact and he changes course. He glances around and whispers into his ear. "Do whatever you want, but don't touch my machine, and don't let anyone else touch it for at least five more minutes." Raph replies with a nod and he watches his brother leave the room quickly.

Whatever he had planned, Raph did _not_ want to be on the receiving end of it. _He may be able to throw some punches but Donnie could take someone out cold just with the right chemicals_. His mission had changed for now. Make sure nobody touches Donnie's machine. It was easy enough. He was tensed up quite a bit but nobody even acknowledged it until the last minute. "Hey, what's that?" a girl asks, standing behind the chair Donnie left the contraption under.

"Huh..." Raph smiles. The blond boy had bent over to reach for the machine and seeing as there was still thirty seconds left until the five minutes were up, Raph had to take action. He runs over to the boy kicks his arm, leaving a dark bruise to form and flinging it away from the chair. "What the hell man!" The boy yells, holding his arm. "Well you're just such a fucking idiot, you'd probably make that thing explode." Raph says with a smirk. _Anyone would make it explode at this point really._

The blond boy reaches again but this time Raph kicks him straight in his sternum. Now the orderlies were paying attention, one of them starting to make their way over. "That's it-!" The blond says. The girl squeals and runs away while the two boys start fighting. It starts off as a wrestling match, either boy just trying to knock the other down, but after a few seconds they start throwing punches.

"Hey hey hey! Break it up!" Someone yells. Raph doesn't take the time to look. It would've been an easy fight to win, but he wanted it to last. He softens all of his blows, but not quite enough. He sends an easy kick into his opponent's ribs and he falls back, hitting his head on the chair Raph had been trying to keep him away from. The boy looks up and back down to his right, finding the machine again. Raph lets him go, knowing the time had passed.

The boy grabs the top of Donnie's creation, trying to throw it at Raph, but the second his hand touches it, it explodes scolding hot garbage juice all over his right side. His arm, hand, side, and face turn bright red in a matter of seconds and he yells in pain. "You did this!" He yells, throwing what was left at Raph. A small bit of the juice that was left landed on his exposed arm and he understands what the other was going through. It was scalding hot. It burned like hell and would definitely leave blisters for days.

"I didn't, but now I kinda wish I did." Raph growls. One of the staff members tries to go and tend to the blond boy's wounds but he shoves them off, standing up and getting ready for a fight. "Round two." He mumbles. Raph smirks and puts his fists up. "Round two." Just as the two lunge for each-other, the whole room goes dark.

* * *

Mikey walks quickly around the halls, looking for something to do. He was nervous and scared but he knew he had to do something so that they could all stay together. He didn't know what to do just yet but he knew where he could get some inspiration. He hoped they hadn't locked it up yet but even if they had, he could probably find a way in. He walks the familiar halls, getting stopped a few times, being asked if he was alright, being told he looked nervous. He blamed it on the new room situation which was partially true.

They hadn't talked about it, but Mikey had a horrible night. He didn't sleep at all and every time he closed his eyes he could hear the monsters breathing in his ear. He wanted to talk about it with his brothers but they were all focused on the plan to get back together. They'd no doubt have to talk about it with Mr. Higgs later but Mikey wanted to talk about it with his brothers.

The freckled boy shakes his head and looks at the door to the stairwell. Glancing around, he pushes open the door and walks in. They weren't allowed to keep the door locked for fire safety but it sure would save them a lot of trouble with the patients if they at least had it guarded.

Mikey walks all the way down the stairs, four flights of them, to get to the basement level. There was a note on the door so he takes it off and reads. "Couldn't find the locks to put on the door, must order new ones." Mikey shrugs and opens the door, crumpling the note and sticking it in his pocket. Inside it looked almost exactly the same as the day before. There was a new lock on the doors to outside, a few more boxes than before, and the four skateboards were gone, probably locked up in some case.

It wasn't long before Mikey found a large _'donations'_ pile. He smiles and starts to dig through it. It was mostly things he couldn't or wouldn't use, but then he comes across two items that fit together like a puzzle. There was an old, small, boombox with some tapes in a plastic bag on top and two large tubes of something. Mikey takes the top off of one of the tubes and pulls out an un-cracked glow stick. "Oh-ho-ho! Oh yeah! Now we're talking!" Mikey says to himself with a little laugh.

He looks around a little bit more and finds a black T-shirt with a glow in the dark cartoon ghost on the front. "Oh I LOVE this!" He says to himself, putting the glow stick tube down and slipping the shirt on over his normal shirt. It was a little baggy but it fit okay. Luckily they didn't have a uniform dress code so this shirt wasn't too out of the ordinary. He puts on a few glow sticks as bracelets and necklaces and then gathers his findings, making his way out of the basement, and closing the door. He sprints up the dimly lit stairs looking like he was ready for a rave.

Once he was out into the halls of his ward again he knew he had to be stealthy. He couldn't let anyone stop him before he got the party started. He had wasted a lot of time while he was just walking around, but it ended up working to his advantage. Not five minutes after he had gotten his party gear, Donnie slides up to him, having been sprinting around looking for the red head. "Mikey! Yes! Okay, so you have the exact perfect thing for this right now. I need you to start handing out those glow sticks and telling people to gather in the cafeteria for a party! I'm going to turn off all the power for the ward."

Mikey smiles. He hadn't seen Donnie so excited for something in a long time. He nods and gives a bracelet to his brother. "Knock 'em dead! The lights that is." Mikey says with a chuckle. Donnie smiles back and runs off. Even if this all doesn't end up working, It would be a fun day of rebellion. Mikey weaves around the halls, handing out glow sticks and passing around the knowledge of his _'little'_ party. He even got a couple younger orderlies to join in on the fun.

Slowly the cafeteria fills up with people. Some talking, some yelling, some laughing, all of them ready to party. Mikey makes his way through the crowd and climbs up on top of a table, turning on his boombox and playing upbeat music. Some people start dancing, jumping around and having a good time but after just a few minutes a burly man walks in, yelling over the top of the music. "WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE!?" Mikey whips his head around and looks at the man. He looked to be the head of security and very angry.

The freckle laced boy bends down and slowly spins the nob on the boombox, turning the music up louder. "YOU! GET DOWN FROM THERE!" The man yells. He was about to start making his way into the room further when the lights go out completely, encasing the room in darkness for half a second before all the glow sticks kick in. Mikey smiles. He was having genuine fun. Just before the beat drops He yells- "EVERY-BODY _JUMP!_ " Everyone in the room starts jumping, bumping up against each other and budging the head of security out the door.

* * *

Donnie can barely hold back his laughter as he runs through the darkened halls. He never got to play around with tech and having this one day where he did was like heaven. He turns to a lounge type area, a place a rarely went and was mostly used for _'quiet time'_. The room wasn't dark seeing as it had ceiling length windows all around but what had Donnie's attention was the balcony. He'd been out on it before, even made a friend out there, so he knew it decently well.

As he leans up against the railing he can hear Mikey's music blaring from nearly all the way across the ward. He didn't have to wait long before he had people clambering into the room, looking for him. He'd made sure that they'd see him. He strategically placed himself in an easy to follow pattern in all of the security cameras, leading them finally to this room. Once he heard the footsteps in the room he stretches and climbs up onto the rail, balancing easily on the beam like concrete.

He waits with his hands behind his back until he can see Mr. Higgs, a nurse, and a guard turn to look at him. "Donatello! Wha- Come down here right now." Mr. Higgs says sternly. "You could fall-" Donnie interrupts him. "Yeah, I know, planning on it too." The therapist raises his eyebrows. Yes, Donnie had talked about disturbing thoughts and ideas before but none were harmful to himself. And all of them were while he wasn't lucid, this Donnie was one hundred percent lucid. "We're on the third story!" The nurse whispers urgently to Mr. Higgs.

"Perfect height wouldn't you say?" Donnie replies slyly. He shifts his footing, rubbing his bare feet on the cement. "Donatello listen to me, you don't want to fall from there. You don't want to go down like this." Mr. Higgs says calmly, putting his hands up. "Maybe I do want to go down." Donnie says, barely able to hold in what was sure to be a torrent of chuckles. "You don't. I'm going to walk towards you and when I get to you, you're going to get down from there and we'll talk." Mr. Higgs takes slow, deliberate steps, never once blinking to look away from the teen on the edge.

Once he was about six feet away Donnie puts his head back, rolling out his neck for a moment before he takes a small step backwards and off the balcony. The nurse shrieks and Mr. Higgs yells, running forwards and looking down over the edge and seeing nothing. What he didn't know was that Donnie really knew this balcony. He had dropped off the edge, grabbed onto the ground floor of it and dropped in and safely to the balcony just below them. His feet and ankles stung quite a bit but other than that he was fine.

Donnie walks in the doors and smiles when he sees a young man, still quite a bit older than himself, sitting at a table in a room very similar if not identical to the room he'd just dropped down from. He walks up to him and leans on the chair across from him. "Hey Timothy." He says, sitting down. "Hi- Hi Donnie!" Timothy replies in a slow voice. In front of him was a small notepad he was doodling in. "What'cha drawing?" Donnie asks. He knew he'd be there for a while so it'd be nice to catch up.

"You- I'm drawing wha-what you told me you were gonna do when- When you came last time Donnie." It takes Timothy a bit to find the right words but it was okay. Donnie didn't mind waiting. "Oh-! Oh..." Donnie thinks back. He had a bad memory but he was sure that he came this way just two days prior, when he and his brothers had all gotten out. "Maybe you should draw something else." Donnie says, flipping the page up for him. "How about you draw... A princess... A princess with beautiful red hair who- who was hurt by a dragon." Donnie says quietly.

Just because he wasn't the artist in the family didn't mean that he didn't have artistic ideas. Timothy nods and starts sloppily drawing. "What her name?" He asks, not looking up. Without hesitation Donnie replies. "April."

* * *

Leo had a quiet day. He never went for breakfast just like the rest of his brothers and stayed alone while they all went to fight the battle. He didn't know weather or not he'd wake up not knowing what was going on or if something would happen during the day to trigger it but he knew he could keep in his mind that he couldn't move. So far he hadn't had any _internal_ problems but it wasn't long before someone came looking for him.

"Leo, you've missed your morning therapy! What's going on?" An older nurse asks, stepping into the room. She had shoulder length white hair and sounded like she had smoked quite a bit but everyone knew she was one of the sweetest, nicest nurses in the ward. Leo felt bad not speaking to her but he needed to hold his ground. "What, you're not gonna talk to o'l Michele?" She waits a moment and when Leo doesn't answer she walks in the room more, moving in closer to the teen.

Leo sat cross legged with his hands folded in his lap, his eyes only open a slit. "What's up buddy?" She asks, sitting next to him. "D'you miss your brothers, is that it?" She asks. _Of course he missed his brothers. They were his only family here. The one night he had apart from them felt like torture. He didn't know if they were okay, he didn't know where they were, and he didn't even know if they had gone to sleep. He's always worried about them as long as he isn't with them._

Even though he'd normally talk to Michele, he couldn't talk. He wouldn't do anything until he was back with his brothers, even if it meant hurting some good people's feelings in the process. Michele sits there with him for a long time trying to get him to move or talk, or say _something_. He just wouldn't and so she leaves, looking upset and worried. _She really did care about the patients here._

It was just a little bit after the old woman had left that He starts hearing noises from outside. He heard faint shouting, three distinct voices, one of which could be none other than his brother Raphael himself. In a weird way, he was proud of his little brother. "Leonardo?" Leo cracks open his eyes again. Mr. Higgs was walking towards him, looking a bit frazzled. "What's going on." He asks. "I know you've done something, none of you showed up for breakfast or therapy."

Leo wonders what Mr. Higgs would do. He'd never _not_ replied to the man before. He'd always said _something_ , weather it was yelling at him or calmly telling him what was going on. He didn't seem to be too patient with him as the sound of far away blaring music wafts into the room. "Leonardo. _NOW_. What are you and your brothers doing." Leo closes his eyes again. He had nothing to say. He knew with all the trouble the others were making that he couldn't stay here long.

Mr. Higgs tries to pry him even longer but when the lights all around them shut down He quickly leaves, locking the door to the room behind him. Leo takes a deep breath in and blows it out slowly. He had quite a bit of time left today.

* * *

Raph yells at the top of his lungs as he's dragged out of the rec room. His fighting partner had shifted a few times. He'd been ripped away from the blond boy so he could get rushed to the nurses office. He'd fought the nurses until a younger girl came in-between him and them. He froze. He would not fight a little girl. That pause was just long enough for the security to come in, grabbing him, and forcing him out of the room.

As he screams he catches a glance down a side hall, seeing a small group of people rushing down the stairwell. He knew there were at the very least two other things going on right now but to his knowledge they were all within the ward. No matter. _He just needed to focus on causing as much possible trouble as he could._ With that thought Raph wildly kicks his legs, not caring if he really hit anything. "Calm down son, it's over, no more fighting." One of the men says, narrowly being missed by Raph's flying feet.

Raph feels a pain in his chest. It was something he'd felt before but suppressed each time. _'son'_. He hadn't been called that in a _long_ time. He didn't feel worthy of that title, to be called someone's son. It meant that they cared for him, _that he was worth being cared for._ Slowly his anger and adrenaline fades and he's carried to a solitary room.

As soon as he's set down on the soft floor Raph wants to grab onto the man's arm. He didn't want him to leave. He knew it was stupid and he didn't mean that he really was his son _but... He hadn't seen his dad in so long._ "WAIT." He says urgently, throwing a hand out towards the two guards. They turn back around, just barely still in the room. "What." One of them says, almost annoyed.

Raph stares at the ground. _He didn't want to be alone._ "I can't be here." He mumbles out. It was his plan to be sent to solitary but he really didn't want to be alone right now. "Yeah, you can, and you will." The more gruff of the men says. "No. I CAN'T." Raph retaliates. "I can't I can't I can't I CAN'T." The gruff man pushes the other man aside and moves to close the door. "Wait, maybe we should-" His voice was cut off by the muffled thump of the door closing. Raph could barely hear what was going on outside and it made him feel even worse.

He stands up and lunges towards the door, pushing on it with all his might. It was obvious that it wouldn't open but it was the only way Raph could fight the building feeling in his chest and head. After a few minutes of ramming himself into the unbreakable door he drops to the ground. He tries so hard to express almost any feeling except for this one but it doesn't always work.

 _Raph hates feeling sad_. Not just because it makes him look weak compared to his tough facade, but because it's one of the worst feelings you can have. Being mad or enraged, he could handle those, they're not as bad as feeling sad. The hothead rubs his arm across his face, wiping away the load of tears he had been bearing.

He wanted to be with his father but at this point, his brothers would substitute well. He'd been horrible the night they were separated. He didn't sleep, he hit a wall, literally, multiple times. He'd flipped furniture, broken things, even tried to punch through the glass in the door. He needed something to change. Right. Now.

* * *

Donnie smiles at Timothy's drawings. It was calming to be in this ward. No fights, not as much screaming, just calm. Unfortunately he could never live in this ward. He could never leave his brothers and as long as he still ran away like he does, he would never be allowed down here. "What should... I... Draw next Don-nie?" Timothy asks brightly. "How about..." Donnie takes a moment to think, looking off towards the doorway.

Two nurses walk hurriedly into the room and run towards the balcony. Donnie's eyes widen when he realizes: they were looking for _him_. He slips under the table quickly, thanking the Heavens that they had long table cloths. "Don-nie?" Timothy asks, starting to look under the table. " _Shhhh! No Timothy, don't! Pretend I'm not here!_ " Donnie whispers back urgently. "Okay." The chubbier young man says happily.

It seemed like he was going to be in the clear until one of the worst possible things happens. "Hi, you wouldn't have happened to see someone from a different ward in here have you? He's got brown hair in a ponytail, brown eyes, his name is Donatello?" Donnie covers his mouth. _'Oh fucking damn it Timothy, if you-'_ "Yeah, I saw Don-nie! I'm _pretending_ I don't know where he is, but I _do_ know!" Donnie tenses up, ready to bolt if he needed to. "And where is he? We just need to know because he might be hurt." The person above says.

Donnie could hear Timothy mumble something before speaking fully again. "Don-nie's not hurt, he's okay. He hid though. I'll give you a hint _where!_ " He says in a sing song voice. " _Alright,_ what's the hint?" Donnie silently face palms. He knew he couldn't blame him but he really wanted to blame him. "He's _really_ close..." Timothy starts. Immediately the table cloth gets pulled up and Donnie scurries out the other end. "Hey! Hang on!" The nurse yells.

Of course, Donnie was in no mood to cooperate. He knew a way to the ground floor but he'd have to make his way to the other side of this ward and scale down the building. _Was he really going to do that just to get taking back upstairs? Yes. Yes he was._ He loops around the nurses, almost loving the game of cat and mouse. While Raph loved to fight his way out, Donnie evaded like a boss. There was little to no chance that they would be able to catch him before he made his escape.

Even with more and more workers piling onto his chaser's team, he could not be stopped. His evasion skills only trumped by Mikey. He runs into almost zero road blocks on his way, though he almost tripped over a couple of older ladies in wheelchairs. Within a couple of minutes he made his way into the exact room he was looking for. It was an unused room that contained the only privet balcony. It was locked up by an electronic lock but that was easily disarmed.

Donnie trips over a small step up into the room, falling nearly to the ground. "STOP!" Someone yells from behind him. He didn't. "Just a little further." Donnie mutters to himself, now on the balcony. He goes to climb over the rim but as he climbs on top of it the whole section crumbles. The brunet screams as he falls. It wasn't too far. Someone grabs the back of his shirt at the last second, holding him there, dangling two stories above the black pavement that would've been splattered with bits of Donnie.

The boy looks up and smiles shyly. "Oh, h-hi Mr. Higgs..." He lets out a nervous chuckle as the original two nurses come and help pull him up and off the balcony. "What are you boys doing!" Mr. Higgs says. He didn't sound mad, just urgent. "Uh... I um..." Donnie tries to think of any good way to respond but nothing was coming to mind. "Mikey's throwing a rager." Donnie says quickly. "Yes, and you're going to have to help me shut that down." The therapist replies.

It was a childish tactic that he knew wouldn't work, but Donnie couldn't help but try and pass the majority of the blame to his youngest brother. The youngest always gets off the easiest. Donnie walks shamefully back up to the ward, trying not to make eye contact with anyone. He wasn't ashamed of what he'd done, he was actually quite proud of that, he was ashamed that he'd been caught. Mad and upset that he'd almost let himself fall to his _near_ death. He wouldn't necessarily _die_ from falling from that height, but it sure wouldn't be pretty.

As the group steps back into the correct level of the building they could hear music still pounding from the cafeteria, people chanting along with it. "Alright, we're going to go in there, grab your brother and tell him to stop everything, got it?" Donnie rolls his eyes and nods to Mr. Higgs and they enter the busy room. Mikey stood atop a table stacked on top of another table, jumping up and down recklessly, no cares given to the fact that he could fall at any moment.

Mikey glances to the doors as they swing open and a grimace falls on his face. He takes a sharp breath in through his teeth and watches as Donnie walks through the crowd with his fingers shoved deep in his ears. "MIKEY, IT'S TIME TO STOP." Donnie yells over the music. "BUT WE'RE JUST GETTING STARTED!" Mikey shouts back, motioning to the crowd and the small stack of CD's he had beside him. "MIKEY, IF I DON'T GET OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW I'M GOING TO FREAK THE FUCK OUT SO EITHER YOU COME WITH ME OR END UP WITH ONE LESS BROTHER." Donnie replies, feeling as if his chest were about to explode.

The freckled boy bends down and shuts off the music sadly, leaving everyone with a slight ringing in their ears. "Sorry guys! Gotta cut the party short!" a chorus of _'aw's'_ and _'Come on's'_ echos through the now too silent room. "But come back Sunday for another _AWESOME FREAKIN RAVE BOI!_ " The crowd cheers and Mr. Higgs does his best to disregard the party claim. "No, _no,_ that won't be happening, Michelangelo, you're coming with me, let's go." Mikey throws up a rock n' roll sign and jumps down from the tables, knocking the top table off to the floor with a loud bang.

The brothers and Mr. Higgs leave the room, Mikey giving passing patients high fives before they disappear from view. "Michelangelo, you and your brothers are in so much trouble." Mikey shrugs. "When are we _not?_ " Donnie snorts. "He's not wrong." The man shakes his head and pinches the bridge of his nose. "We need to get your brothers and we're going to have _another_ talk." The rest of the walk was silent. Mr. Higgs had ended up holding Mikey's hand to keep him from wandering off, intentionally or not.

They stop in front of the well known solitary door. "Ooo, how mad is Raph gonna be right now?" Mikey says with a mischievous smile. Mr. Higgs opens the door and right inside is Raph, kneeling with his head down and palms face up. Immediately any emotion drains from the brothers' faces. They didn't like when Raph was like this. "Raphael, honey, would you please stand up for us?" Mr. Higgs says sweetly. Not too many people could get Raph to move in this state and Mr. Higgs was barely one of them.

"Raphael, stand up please, it's time to go now." Raph wiggles his fingers slightly, slowly shifting and moving around until he moves into a standing position. Mr. Higgs uses his free hand to lead Raph out of the room. It was a weird thing, Raphael would try so hard not to be upset sometimes that he couldn't move. All his energy was focused on not crying and because of that he could barely figure out how to move.

Their pace slows but they walk back to the room that Leo sat in. Half way there the lights had flickered back on, undoing all of Donnie's work. He almost sighs when the halls flood back in with light. "Leonardo, the fun's over, it's time to head over to my office." When Leo makes no attempts to move Mr. Higgs frowns. "You all are in big trouble, Leonardo. Now." Without opening his eyes, Leo takes a deep breath in and blows it slowly out. "You tried to separate us. We will not stop until we are brought back together."

It was the first time Leo had spoken in a full day so his voice was scratchy and unused, but calm and collected, like he had been planning exactly what to say for this exact situation all day. "You are not the one in control here Leonardo." Mr. Higgs says, holding Mikey back from running over to his brother. "But It seems as though I am." Leo replies. "If we don't stop what will you do? Separate us even more? We will not stop. If you bring us back together then we stop, we behave as well as expected, and things go back to normal."

Donnie raises his eyebrows, surprised at the threats his brother had made. There was a long silence before anyone spoke. "How about a compromise." Mr. Higgs says, almost annoyed. "You boys all stop this and you can be in rooms, two and two." Leo just barely cracks open his eyes, glaring at the man in front of him. "We won't settle for-"Leo starts. " _AND._ " Interrupts Mr. Higgs. "And, every other weekend you four will be allowed to spend the time at your father's apartment, granted he gives his permission."

All four brother's sit and stand up straight in utter shock. No matter what had been happening, visits from or with their father had always been restricted, uncommon and short. "DEAL!" Mikey shouts, clasping a hand onto Donnie's arm and staring up at the therapist with wide, glisting eyes. "Honestly, we were going to allow day trips to you four after a week of separation but this seems to be a good compromise."

Raph, on the other side, nods vigorously, no longer caring that the motion had opened the floodgates stopping his unwanted tears. He hadn't seen their father in much longer than any of his brothers. Each time he had visited he'd been solitary or out cold. He'd only really gotten to see his father once or twice in the time he'd been at this hospital, none at all at all the others.

"That would be... _Amazing_..." Donnie mutters. "Leo, Leo _please_ , we _have_ to say yes." He says, pleading to his only older brother. Leo keeps a frown planted firmly on his face. "And what if he says _no._ " Leo asks _"What if he doesn't want us._ " There were many ways the boy could've phrased that question but this was one of the worst. Mr. Higgs clears his throat. "If your father does not give permission then you four will be allowed on the field trips with ward two, accompanied by extra security of course."

He looks over to Donnie who's eyes had lit up. "Yes Donatello, Timothy's ward." Mr. Higgs says with a small smile. _This would be a win-win for Donnie. He hadn't made too many friends here, or anywhere to be honest, but now he'd be allowed to either see his father every week or he'd be able to go on trips with a friend, out to places like museums and planetariums, he couldn't loose!_

Leo keeps his frown on his face, looking at his brothers. They all wanted this so bad. Was it worth the rejection they'd feel when their father said no? He got rid of them for a reason. He couldn't handle them. Why would he take them back, even for a weekend? "Fine." He says harshly. He stands up, feeling wobbly on his feet seeing as he'd been sitting cross-legged all day, and marches straight up to the therapist.

"But when my father says he doesn't want us, you'd better stay the hell away from my brothers while I pick their broken pieces up off the floor." He whispers. He takes a couple steps back and crosses his arms, a faint hand holding onto his shoulder, feeding him the frustrated anger he felt. When the hand tightens and feeds him more rage, him realizes these feelings weren't all from himself. The hand flees and Leo shivers, tightening up even more than before. Mr. Higgs keeps a straight face after Leo's threat, flatting out his shirt. "Alright, who's ready for their sessions?"

* * *

 **HOLY SHIT GUYS-! That was a long ass chapter! I hope you enjoyed it because WOW, it took me so long to write! I hope you all are still liking this story, I wouldn't know seeing as right now there's only one chapter up! Anyways, I love you all and thank you for reading! Be sure to tell me how you like this story so far so I know I should continue!**


	6. Chapter 6: Thoughts and Talks

(5314 Words)

"Michelangelo, how was your night?" Mr. Higgs and Mikey sit across from each-other. The young boy bounces in his seat, trying his best to contain all of his feelings. "It was- It was fine." Mikey says, eyes wandering all around the office as if it was the first time he'd seen it. Mr. Higgs stays quiet for a moment, watching Mikey fidget and bounce, obviously not paying attention. "How was it? Did you sleep better than if you were in a room with your brothers?"

Mikey absentmindedly nods, not listening at all. "So would you like a room all by yourself again?" Finally Mikey snaps out of his distracted state and locks eyes with his therapist. " _What?_ " Mikey frowns. "No, no, I hated being alone. I didn't sleep at all." It was an oddly serious version of the freckled boy that suddenly shone through. Serious, and slightly confused.

"How come?" Mr. Higgs asks, folding his hands in his lap. "I couldn't stop hearing things all around me. When that happens, usually one of my brothers stays with me so I can sleep. I always know they'll protect me." Mikey lolls his head to the side and tugs at his shirt. The office was dimly lit which made the ghost on the front glow slightly. "Mm-hm." The older man mumbles. "Do you think that if you were with just one brother and they couldn't help you, that that would make things better? Or worse."

Mikey's face contorts with confusion. "What do you mean." He says flatly. "Well, what if you were in a room with just one brother, like our deal stated, and he was sleeping or unable to help you. Would you feel worse, or better than last night?" Mr. Higgs elaborates. Mikey sits quietly. He wasn't sure how to answer. "I guess... I guess better? Knowing they were there an' stuff..."

Mikey looks up a little more, sitting up straighter. "Who am I getting to room with?" He asks quickly. Mr. Higgs looks up at the ceiling. "Well that really depends. Who do _you_ think you'll do best rooming with." Mikey knew he was asking this question to test him. He'd already decided who was going to room with who.

"I don't know." Mikey says with a little pep in his voice. Mr. Higgs smiles. "I know who you'd want to room with." He says. Mikey shrinks in his seat. "I know you'd want to room with your brother Donatello. You two have a good bond, but there's only so many of you and when deciding who'd go with who, I have to consider all four of you." The man brings his hands up onto the table. "I can't let you room with Leonardo, you two have gotten into quite a bit of trouble together."

Mikey nods along, understanding so far. "Your brother Raphael cannot be with Leonardo either because of the fights they've gotten into over their time together." Mr. Higgs explains. It was becoming obvious who would be with who. Mikey pulls his feet up onto the chair and looks at the desk. "So I'll be with Raph." Mikey says almost sadly, putting two and two together easily. "Donnie with Leo."

Mr. Higgs nods. "Donatello's rational attitude will help balance out Leonardo's shifts." Mikey nods back, picking at his shirt. "Now, I must ask-" Mikey looks up at the sudden mood shift. Mr. Higgs leans forward onto the desk with a small curious smile. "Why a rave?"

* * *

"Raphael, would you mind sitting on the chair?" Mr. Higgs asks, looking underneath the desk. Raph was sitting with his knees up to his chest and head ducked. He didn't say anything and didn't move. If you looked closely you would be able to see him shaking just slightly. A minute longer of no response and Mr. Higgs moves his chair aside and sits on the floor to the Right of Raph. "So what's going on?" He asks, wrapping his arms around his knees.

The first response Raph gave in the fifteen minutes they had been in that office was the smallest of head shakes. The man bobs his head from side to side, thinking. "Could you write it?" Raph nods and Mr. Higgs grabs a paper and a pen from his desk above and slides it over to the boy. Raph takes the paper and puts it in front of himself and messily writes a short message.

Passing it back to the therapist, Mr. Higgs reads the note. _'I'm scared'_. "Of what? Why are you scared?" Raph takes the paper back and writes one word, not caring to take time to write a full sentence. _'father'_. Mr. Higgs frowns. "You're scared of your father?" Raph shakes his head quickly. "You're scared- Are you scared to see him again?" The man guesses. Raph nods. He hated not being able to talk, but it happened more often than not when he was upset.

"And why is that?" Higgs asks, once again passing the paper under the table. Raph tenses up even more, making his shaking more obvious. There were too many emotions raging through his head and all he wanted to do was smash something into a million pieces and stab someone with those pieces until they stopped moving. He was upset, he was scared, and he was _mad_ that he was either of those things. He knew this was the best option for him and his brothers, but seeing his father again after not once seeing him in _two years?_ It was absolutely _terrifying._

Raph picks up the paper and crumples it, resisting the urge to throw it at the therapist and instead throwing it at the chair he was supposed to be sitting in. Mr. Higgs nods and straightens a leg out, groaning a little at the popping of his knee. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather sit in the chair? The floor won't do either of us much good." Raph shakes his head again. "Fine, but it won't make me cut the session short." The man says.

Silence bounces between them for a minute before Raph huffs, kicking out and hitting the desk. Mr. Higgs gets a quizzical look on his face and Raph kicks again. And again, and again. "Do you need something Raphael?" Raph scowls and kicks again. "You had a piece of paper, but you threw it, see what happens when you're careless?" Raph kicks again, harder this time and Higgs gives him another piece of paper. "There you go." He says breathily.

Raph scribbles on the paper for a moment and hands it back, shaking less. 'Who am I rooming with?' The paper read. Mr. Higgs nods and the paper and looks up. "You and Michelangelo will be rooming together." He says, knowing a straight answer would be better in this situation. Raph's expression stays the same. _No reaction_.

He didn't know how to feel about the answer he got. While he did love his little brother, he almost wanted to room with someone else. The teen grabs the paper one more time and scribbles a name down on it, handing it back to Higgs carefully in hopes that being gentle would grant his wishes. The man frowns and purses his lips together. "You know that's not a good idea. Without someone else there with you two, you'll kill each-other."

Raph frowns. He _did_ know it wasn't a good idea, and he knew he fought a lot, but when his brother was in touch with reality? He wanted to be the first one by his side. He fought with himself to not lash out, calming down just enough and taking deep breaths. He clenches his fists and sucks in a breath, feeling his throat tighten. Finally- "I wanna room with Leo." He breathes out quietly.

It felt like his body was working against him to talk but he got out what he needed, adding an even more quiet "Please." At the end. Higgs sighs. "How about this." The man replies. "You do well with Michelangelo for two weeks, I'll consider letting you and Leonardo stay together." A few moments of silence pass before the therapist speaks again.

"Why do you want to be with Leonardo?"

Raph looks at his feet. _Why? It may not seem like it, but he really does love his brothers, and he got to see the least of Leo almost all his life. Even when they lived with their father, Leo was always off playing sports and training. When the Brutish boy tried to join the sports too, he was always on another team or just a little bit below his brother in skill, just enough that they still wouldn't see each other._

 _Why did he want to be with Leo? Because his whole life he'd been away from him._

While all this went on in his mind, he just shakes his head. There was no way he could _'do well'_ for two weeks, let alone speak long enough to say why he needed to. Mr. Higgs waits just a bit longer, hoping for a response. "Do you want to tell me why you decided to start a fight?" Raph shakes his head again. Higgs nods. "Alright then."

* * *

Donnie sits cross-legged in the chair his brothers had occupied just minutes before, trying hard to keep a smile off his face. He had been recounting his actions during their rule breaking spree and couldn't seem to _not_ find the humor in it. His garbage bomb had worked like a charm, his camera trail went perfectly according to plan, and it was just so hilarious that they all thought he was dead.

Why was that hilarious?

Because for the first time in a long time, Donnie was feeling absolutely _manic_.

He didn't want to die per-say, but on the other hand he feels like it would be a great idea to dissect his own arm and see how the ligaments work. "How was your night Donatello?" Higgs asks. Donnie puts on a thinking face and glances up at the ceiling. "It was okay. I had a stupendous time from two thirty-three Am to six twenty-nine Am thinking of all the things I could live without in my body. Did you know that technically you can live without a heart?"

Higgs nods and scribbles something down on a note pad. "That is very interesting Donatello. Did you get any sleep last night?" He asks, noticing the dark bags under the boy's eyes. Donnie shakes his head with a smile. "Oh no, no, no, I was much too busy the rest of the time planning what I'd do _today!_ I really had a good time working out the kinks in that garbage bomb."

Mr. Higgs nods again, writing more down on his notepad. "How you're feeling right now, that came on suddenly yes? Were you feeling like this last night at all?" Donnie nods once again. "Yes, from two thirty-three Am to six twenty-nine Am. You know, I've been told that when I feel like this I really shouldn't be alone and that I shouldn't feel like this but honestly it doesn't feel all that bad. And I was _fine_ last night."

The therapist looks the boy in the eyes. "Donatello, you know that feeling this way isn't good for you, and if you were to carry out these ideas, it could _kill_ you." Donnie rolls his eyes. "Yeah, I _know_ , but I'm not going to, I have no need for the actions, the thoughts just are there." Mr. Higgs leans on his desk. "How about we talk about earlier today. How did you gain access to the light controls?" He knew in this state Donnie really didn't care about much of anything so getting answers out of him would be much easier.

"It was easy." Donnie replies. "I just made my way to the closest outlet to the breaker, _which was right by the locked breaker door, really easy to find,_ and took the cover off and cut all the cords that were in the area. I even found the back up generator and flipped that off too." Mr. Higgs nods again. "Uh-huh, and would you mind telling me why you decided to jump off the balcony?"

Donnie laughs. "I wasn't jumping off the balcony, I was dropping down to the one below! You should've know that right away when you didn't see my body on the ground!" Higgs bobs his head. "Yes, I guess we should have. Tell me, did you feel like this when you did that?" Donnie scoffs. "Of course not, if I had felt like this I probably wouldn't have stopped and talked to Timothy. Right now I honestly don't feel like talking to anyone yet here I am, being forced into talking to you. Funny how things work out, huh?"

Higgs shrugs. "You didn't have to talk as much as you are, yet you continue to cooperate. The world works in funny ways son." Suddenly Donnie steels up, lifting up in his seat. " _Don't call me that._ " He says quickly and sternly, eyes narrowing. Higgs bows his head slightly. "My apologies."

Donnie glares harshly at the therapist and crosses his arms as he sits back down. Higgs decides to change the subject. "I think this day of excitement may have been the cause of how you're feeling right now. I think if we try to keep things steady we could have you feeling much better much more of the time." Donnie keeps his arms crossed tightly across his chest, almost pouting. "And give yourself a couple months and maybe you'll be able to go on those field trips no matter what. How's that sound?"

Donnie's face scrunches up, trying his hardest not to smile. His manic episodes never lasted very long and he _was_ the third brother to go through his session so at this point he was very quickly coming off that high. He lets out a small whine before exhaling quickly. "I really wanna do that." Higgs smiles and he could almost see the bad feelings draining out of the boy's body.

"So lets get you back on track with a good routine and see if that helps you any, huh?" Higgs offers. Donnie nods his head and softly smiles back. "Now, the first step to figuring out a routine for you will be to figure out who you'll be rooming with."

"I'll be with Leo, right?" Donnie asks, folding his hands in his lap and trying his hardest not to overthink anything. Mr. Higgs nods. "Very astute of you, yes. You and Leonardo will be rooming together." Donnie has to try not to show outwardly how much he was beaming with pride at this. "And I trust that you won't be dropping off any balconies any time soon?" Higgs asks.

"Nope. No balcony dropping. I promise." Donnie says. "scouts honor." Higgs raises an eyebrow. "Were you a scout?" Donnie nods and crosses his arms over his stomach anxiously. "Yeah, well, when I was little. Up until I came here anyways." He shrugs and looks down at the desk. "No balcony dropping, got it. I won't do it again."

* * *

Mikey walks around the halls, not wanting to go to his room just yet but also not wanting to hang around other people. He just wanted to think. He had avoided talking about his father in the session, acting as if he would be totally fine if he just showed up one day and took them all home. But in reality he was just as scared as the rest of them. Before he had gotten sent here he had been getting in trouble with his father a lot at home, and not because of his mental health.

The redhead looks at his closed fist and slowly opens it revealing a small pink hair clip with a little blue bow on the end. He had found it not too long ago, lost in the halls. He had a good relationship with his father for the most part but there was always one thing about him that his father never wanted to see.

It had started with just liking bright colors, then wanting to play with dolls like his friends in pre-school, then wanting to shop in the _'girls'_ section at times. He knew the whole time he wasn't a girl, he just liked those things. His father however did not approve. For a long time he'd stay away from that kind of stuff, pushing down his own self expression. _Now though?_ He didn't want to stay away anymore.

Mikey looks up as he realizes he's reached his room and pushes open the door to see Raph sitting on one of the two beds, looking down at the sheets until the freckled boy walks in. For once neither of them say anything. Mikey just walks over to his bed staring at his hand and sits down. Minutes pass before the silence is finally cut through. "Do you think Dad'll hate me?" Raph frowns from across the room.

"I mean like... If I'm me, is he gonna not like me? I mean I didn't change but he'll think I did." Mikey ponders aloud. "I just don't want to screw things up for everyone. If he hates me then he might hate you, or Donnie, or even Leo!" Mikey closes his hand hard around the small metal clip. "And if he hates all of us because of me then you all will hate me too and-"

Mikey finally stops his rambling when Raph plops down on the bed with him, grabbing his hand and pulling out the clip. Mikey watches with tears in his eyes as Raph opens the clip and sloppily puts it in his little brother's messy, curly hair. "You'll be too cute to hate." He says quietly. They all were very much over-thinkers and it could get the best of them at times.

Mikey smiles at his brother and has to hold himself back from hugging him on the spot. "Thanks."

* * *

Leo folds his arms and glares a hole through the therapist's head as the man waits on a ringing phone. He refused to talk to Mr. Higgs until he got confirmation that his father would indeed be letting them visit. "You know, your father may not be able to answer the phone right now. What happens then?"

Leo squints at the man sitting across from him and folds is arms tighter. He was not about to let that get in his way. "If he doesn't want to talk to you then neither do I." He wasn't feeling very well and it was getting worse by the minute. It wasn't the usual feeling either. It was a deep aching in his stomach. He would've thought he was hungry if it wasn't for the fact that he felt like he was about to throw up any second.

Mr. Higgs hangs up the phone and sighs. "He must be out of the house." The man takes in Leo's scowl and frowns. "Why don't we talk about today, huh?"

Leo shakes his head angrily before holding his stomach and wincing. Moving was a big _'no-no'_ if he wanted to keep down what little food he had in his stomach. Mr. Higgs raises an eyebrow. "Are you feeling alright?" The man looks Leo up and down. "You don't look well."

Leo groans as a wave of nausea washes over him. He brings a hand to his mouth and keeps his head down, readying himself for the inevitable dry heaves that were coming his way. He hadn't eaten in quite a while and for him that meant nausea and vertigo, though thankfully he was spared on the second half. The boy shakes his head and mumbles into his hand. Higgs moves his chair out to stand, grabbing a small trash can on his way around the desk.

"Here, hold this if you need to. I'll be right back." The man says. He speed walks out of the office, leaving Leo alone for a moment.

Leo knew this was his fault. He should've eaten. He just can't get himself to trust the food here.

Higgs comes back with a small package of crackers and sets them in front of the boy on the desk. "When you can, eat these. It'll make you feel better." He sits back down and scribbles something down on his notepad. "I promise I didn't touch them. The package is fully sealed."

Leo looks at the crackers. Higgs had said everything he needed to know without him having to ask. They should be totally safe. _But what if they're not? What if they're poisoned? Or drugged? They could be specially made for them._

Leo furrows his brow, feeling conflicted. He needed to eat but could he really trust this? How well did he really know this man? _He probably didn't even call his father in the first place._

Leo shakes his head again. The nausea was worth it. He couldn't let something happen to him now, not now that he was so close to having a win for him and his brothers. "No." He mumbles out, almost gagging on the word.

Higgs sits back in his chair, not at all surprised by this change in events. "It's either this or you'll have to go on an IV again." Leo holds his arm quickly as if to stop a needle from going in. He didn't want to go on an IV, that was for sure, but could he really get himself to eat these poison-drugged crackers? "I'll tell you what," Higgs says. "you eat these now and I will personally take you out to buy your own food. Food that no one else but you will touch. How about that?"

Leo stares at the bottom of the garbage can he was holding. It would be a good way to eat more regularly if he knew that the food was uncontaminated. He shakily picks up the crackers and pulls open the package, taking one out and taking the smallest bite off a corner that he could. It didn't taste off or bad so he takes another, bigger bite. Soon the whole cracker was gone and he was starting to feel a little better.

"How... How do I know the others aren't drugged?" Leo mutters out.

Higgs shrugs. "I guess you'll just have to trust me."

Leo looks at the rest of the crackers. "Will I be able to get something for my brothers too?"

Higgs nods. "But only if you eat all of them."

The boy takes a deep breath. It had been a long time since he had trusted someone, but maybe today was the day to give it a shot. He reaches out to take another cracker, looks at it for a minute before taking a bite.

* * *

Donnie sits in his room alone, looking down at his hands anxiously. He didn't know why, but he felt the need to do something, to get up and go. It wasn't usual for him, normally he liked to stay in his room and work on things there, but it was just a different kind of day for him. Maybe it was because his mind was on those field-trips, or maybe it was because he wasn't completely off his high from earlier. It wasn't entirely clear, but he knew he couldn't just sit around and do nothing.

The brunette hops up and starts pacing around the room. "What to do, what to do..." He mumbles to himself. He couldn't do anything that would get him in trouble but he just had to get out for a while. His saving grace comes along when someone knocks at his door. He whirls around, a smile on his face until he sees who it is. "April..?"

The redhead waves timidly. "Hey bud." She moves to take a step into the room before stopping quickly. "Is it alright if I come in?" She asks. Donnie nods and takes a step back himself, wanting to make sure there was an adequate distance between them even if he was practically on the other side of the room.

April walks in the room, holding her hand behind her back. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry for the other day. I didn't mean to upset you and I should've left when you first told me to." She brings her hands around to her front, showing off a book titled 'quantum physics for dummies'.

"No, A-April that's- that's my fault. I-I hurt you and that wasn't okay. I should be the one apologizing, not you." Donnie stutters out. His heart was pounding and his want to go out immediately subsided.

April shrugs. "It's alright, I know you didn't mean it. Either way, I thought you could use some new reading material since none of the books here are really your speed." She hands Donnie the book and he carefully takes it from her, scared he'll accidentally hurt her again. "I hope it takes you longer to read than the public books here do." April chuckles.

"Thank you..." He knew he messed up, he messed up bad, but maybe he would still have the chance to fix this. "Um... Dr. Higgs says that I'm close to being able to go on the field-trips with ward two." Donnie says. He knows its out of nowhere but he wanted April to know that he's getting better, that he'll do better.

"Really? That's great Don! Are you going to be moving down to ward two, uh... too?" She laughs at her word choices. "I do more work down there than up here, I could see you more often."

Donnie frowns. He'd thought about it before, but to leave his brothers behind? It would be so hard.

"I... They mentioned it before. If I change medication I could..." Donnie trails off. New medication would take time to work and it'd come with it's own new side effects, but he'd be allowed downstairs and have so much more freedom.

"I have a feeling there's a big _'but'_ coming." April says sadly.

"But I can't leave my brothers." Donnie looks down at the book in his hands. "They're all I have and we've worked so hard to stay together, I don't want to be what tears us apart." He sighs and sits down on the bad, pulling his knees up to his chest. "I mean, it'd be great to move down there. I would be able to do so much more. Even just changing meds and staying up here would be nice. I know it works better for me besides some side effects."

April could practically see the gears turning in Donnie's head. "I get it, there are a lot of hard choices when it comes to things like this." She sits down next to him and looks down at her own folded hands. "I think... You should do what's best for you. It's not like you'd never see them again if you were to switch floors, and I think you really want to move down there, more than you believe."

Donnie turns his head away from the volunteer beside him. _She really knew how to read him._ "I'll think about it." he says quietly. They sit in silence for a couple of minutes, just soaking in their conversation. Both their heads shoot up when they hear the door open. Leo stood in the doorway, a plastic garbage can in his hands and looking weak. "Leo, are you okay?"

Leo nods slowly before making his way over to his bed on the other side of the room, laying down with the garbage can in his arms. Donnie gets up and walks over to his sick brother and puts a hand to his forehead. "Not warm... Did you take your meds on an empty stomach?" He asks with an accusatory tone.

Leo nods again. It wasn't entirely uncommon for this to happen, but it didn't happen every day. "I should've seen this coming. I should've made sure you had some food in here with you today with you not moving and all. I knew this kind of thing happens and I should've- I should've-"

Leo cuts the rambling boy off with a hand. "It's not your fault. I can take care of my self Don." He says quietly. "I don't need you looking after me all the time." Donnie's entire demeanor drops, hands coming up quickly to his chest, holding each other.

"Oh. Okay, I see." Donnie says, spinning quickly around to face April once more. "Is there any chance I would be able to spend some time in the common areas?" April, a little taken aback, nods.

"Yeah, there was actually this nice little reading nook I found the other day I was going to show you."

"Sounds perfect." Donnie replies, grabbing his new book and walking over to the door. April joins him and they walk out together, leaving Leo alone in the room. He cringes with another lurch of his stomach. He really didn't mean to hurt Donnie, he just didn't want his little brother worrying over him.

The boy hugs the plastic bin tight to his chest, knees curling up around it. He closes his eyes and tries to take deep breaths to help with the nausea. He tries to sleep it off, not knowing what he had just set in motion.

* * *

Mr. Higgs stands in his office late at night, phone pressed against his ear as he paces about the room. "And you're sure about this?" He asks into the receiver. "This could further damage their already thin mental state." He waits a moment and nods into the phone. "There's a lot of paperwork that comes with that." He says sadly in a last ditch attempt to make the other half of the phone call re-consider.

Once again he nods, closing his eyes with a sigh. "Alright, okay. I'll see you in the morning to sign the papers." He sits down in his chair and rubs his temple while shaking his head. "Alright, good-bye Mr. Hamato."

* * *

DUN DUN DUN! Wow, I feel like I haven't written in forever! I had maybe half of this chapter completed for a long time until just today I came back and finished it! Writing these types of stories always puts me in a bad head-space, but I know how it feels to have a story I like never update and I was already in that bad head-space when I started writing so it really couldn't make it much worse!

I'd like to thank you so much for reading and for sticking with this story even though I don't update often. Love you all,

-Micah 3


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